SURPRISE........

As I struggle from one day to the next trying to make sense of where my life is going.......you get a surprise.   I am in love!  It is one sided and of course he doesn't know about it......but just for today I fell in love.  Shirley and I couldn't find any new movies out this weekend that sounded good so decided on the dollar theater and a movie my sister liked......THE LONG RIDE.......with Scott Eastwood....he has his father beat all to heck......it was a Nicolas Sparks book.  He stole my heart and it only cost $1.25.  It has been an absolutely "do nothing" weekend.......just have no energy or desire to get involved in anything.......getting old sucks!

WORD MEANING.......OR NOT!

Words......can't live without them......but sometimes they can get you into trouble........Take the sentence......"I was just screwing around".......I became very aware of the meaning and use of words when I joined ESP (English Speaking Language)..... and was tutoring a gentleman from Brazil on how to speak English.

Take the word Screw......."I was screwed"........you know taken advantage of , happens every day.  "What have you been doing?"......Oh, just screwing around.......watching TV , eating, loafing......."I can't unscrew this jar of pickles"....Screw or unscrew......a tight lid with my arthritis hands.  And an invitation to screw.....a bedroom thing with a man and a woman.  "What did you do last night?".....Oh, just screwed around.......meaning nothing much.  The Dictionary says......"Screw in mechanics, a machine consisting of an inclined plane wound around a cylinder.......used as a holding agent."  Where in the world did we get the many other meanings we use it for?????  Yet, it is used in many ways every day and we know what the person means that is using it.  Maybe we are all 'SCREWED UP"......or we just screwed up again.

Every test in our life makes us BITTER or BETTER.....

Every problem comes to BREAK us or MAKE us.......

The choice is ours whether we become VICTIMS or VICTOR!

A really quiet and boring weekend......did go to a few garage sales this morning on the way down to pick up a new battery for my laptop.

IN A SINGLE MOMENT........

Think what you can do in a single moment.......You can flash a smile that makes someone's day.  You can hug and be hugged.  You can give a compliment and let one soak in.  You can count your blessings and think a positive thought.  These are all your choices.....so if you want to be angry with a loved one or neighbor and spend many moments letting it stress you......that is your choice also.

An old Cherokee told his grandson, "My son, there is a battle between two wolves inside us all......one is evil.  It is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, inferiority, lust and ego.....The other is good.  It is joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy and truth."

The boy thought about it and asked...."Grandfather, which wolf wins?"

The old man quietly replied......."The one you feed."

I love that God gave us all a choice to live our lives the way we want!

ME AND THE BANK ROBBER.......

You have heard the story and here is the picture from the banks cameras that was on Fox News??????  The tiny ones at the bottom is him coming into the bank......and going out of the bank.  My oldest daughter said , "Mother in the last 8 months I have seen you and my Dad both make the 10:00 o'clock news and it was not something wonderful......like winning the Readers Digest's million dollar lucky number.........Dad wrecked his plane and you and the bank robber rubbed shoulders!"   My one moment of fame..........

Bridge here tomorrow and then I will be caught up with all my parties.

HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY......

My sister said when she died she would leave pennies around to let me know she was around to help me.  She ha kept her promise and I spot pennies in all kinds of strange places and when I am least expecting them.  I always kiss the penny and tuck it away and let her know I am thinking of her also.  On this Memorial Day I would like to thank all the wonderful men and women who have given their lives so my family and I could be free

Spent the afternoon with three of my best friends celebrating one of their birthdays.......Patty's husband just died and she is trying to adjust to being single.  It has been a busy weekend.....two movies.....a luncheon and last night my favorite nephew Mike and his wife came to visit me......He knew I needed bailed out.......we had a good talk and he gave me a blessing.  Mike is the son I never had and we have many fun memories through the years.  Thank you Mike and Andrea.

Very tired .......couldn't sleep last night and getting a cold ......so off to bed early tonight.

MISSED MY CHANCE FOR FAME.......

Lucille called to tell me I was on the morning news ......only they had blocked out my face and it was just me and the bank robber standing at the counter......wouldn't you know my one chance at fame and I get blocked out?????  on second thought .......maybe better and he won't be looking for me cause I might  identify him.  WELL, any way I hope I never go through that again.  Mike called to get the details and see how things were going and I fell apart.......he is and always has been so close to my heart......just like a son and I just came unglued.....poor Mike.  I try to pretend to the kids.....because some of them have worked so hard to make this perfect for me......but how can it be when all the move has done is costs me money and ruin our happy family.....but I can't tell the kids that.......so Mike got it all.  He is so sweet and has always been there for me.....when I think what he and Andrea have been through with that bunch of kids and Lauren and all and still go on I feel very guilty with my little problems.  Tomorrow will be better and I will try harder........

This is proud Grandpa Robby.......Oh how I wish I had some fun pictures of Don being a proud Grandpa to any of his nine grandchildren!!!!!!

BLESSING OF TIME........

Well I am hoping God's blessings flow through the guy I met at the bank today......You know the one that robbed it while I was standing shoulder to shoulder with him!!!!  I had never put witness a bank robbery on my "bucket list".......but seems God stuck it in today......There I was chatting with the bank tellers......I have used the same bank for 27 years and know them all......just as the teller was handing me my money a long arm reaches past me and grabs it and I hear him tell her "MORE"  As I look up she hands him a wade of bills and I look up to see a man with a scarf over his face dressed in black head to toe with a back pack and he crams all the money in it and turns and leaves and NO ONE does anything!  HE SMELLED BAD..........Now in the movies......when you see a Bank Robbery they pull a gun and tell you to lie down on the floor and not look at them and there is yelling and crying "don't kill me"......and all kinds of excitement.......how come my bank robbery experience was over before I realized it was even happening????  Well the police were called and I was detained an hour and a half and had to be interviewed and fill out several witness forms..........funny thing I ran into my son-in-law's little sister as I was going in......JULIE Pannier......if she would have stayed and chatted with me she would also have been there but she was in a hurry so we hugged and she was off.  After the ordeal I went too the store and there was Mark her husband shopping............. so I told him to go home and tell her what she missed!!!  I had kinda been hoping for some fun and excitement this Memorial Weekend......be careful what you wish for........you might get it!

ALWAYS SOMETHING.......

Did  you ever feel like sometimes the only friend you have left is GOD?.........Here I am at the beginning of a long holiday weekend and everyone I talk to is busy with the people they love......Pam and family are in Island Park.......The Cooks aren't speaking to me.....Sherrie is in Vernal......my new neighbors have not moved in and the good friends I have called are all off with Memorial Day doings with their families.........am I feeling sorry for myself....YES?    OK....SUCK IT UP CUPCAKE AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!  The weather man said it is suppose to be bad weather all weekend which doesn't help.  I know being negative only makes the journey more difficult .......you may be given a cactus......but you don't  have to sit on it!!!! 

I will not let family troubles get me down......I have been through worse but we all really feel bad that Andrea  called Sherrie and Pam and said she and her mother have decided their are not enough people to invite to our shower for her that aren't going to the ones of Karrie's friends?????  She does not want us to give her a wedding shower........ None of us have been included in helping with the wedding and Tiff and I were excited to do something.......OH well.....I hope we are invited to the wedding reception.......OR NOT!

IT JUST GOES ON AND ON.......

Had bridge today and everyone loved my new house........I am just glad they don't know all the trouble it has been getting here........Pam, Sherrie and I were going to give Andrea a wedding shower.......she called  the girls today and said she and her Mom had decided there were not enough people to invite as some of their friends were giving her a shower?????? Oh well.......think of the time and energy she has saved us, not to mention the money.   I guess we will be invited to the wedding?  Boy, when Karrie gets mad at you she really takes down the world around her.

WHAT WILL MATTER

Ready or not, Someday it will all come to an end.

There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days

All the things you collected , whether treasured or forgotten,

will pass to someone else.

Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.

It will not matter what you owned or what you owed,

Your grudges, resentment, frustrations and jealousies will finally disappear.

So, too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to do list will expire.

The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away,

It won't matter where you came from or on what side of the tracks you lived at the end.

What will matter is not how many people you knew,

but how many will feel a lasting loss when your gone.

What will matter is how long you  will be remembered by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters............. doesn't happen by accident,

It's not a matter of circumstances but of choice.........

THERE COMES A TIME........

There comes a time in everyone's life when you finally realize you can't change the problem and the best solution is to just walk away.......My moving has caused two families to quit talking to each other.....which affects their children........and me!!!!........I am letting it destroy my life and that is ridiculous when I know my years are numbered and to short to be anything but happy........I want to be around people who like me and care and treat me right......I have learned people treat you the way you let them......I'm done with that after 30 years being married to a tyrant!........I am making new friends and have many old ones I enjoy.

Have to have bridge at my house twice in the next two weeks and a birthday luncheon for a friend......so have to get organized and start planning.......thank goodness my house is new and clean.........But let's see......table setting, flowers, wine, food and desert, plenty of ice.......candy and nuts to nibble on.....and....and....and?  Pam and I went to breakfast as Rob is at the cabin, then did a little shopping so the day is almost shot.  Last night the last minute I went with my friend to listen to her son who sings in a barber shop group.......Sher could not find me and when it got 10:00 she sent Pam out in the rain to my house to see if I was OK........I drove home just then .......and the lost were found......with a warning, "Mother when you go out at night late tell someone where you are going"........I think I remember that same conversation a few years back.......when the shoe was on the other foot!  Nice to know someone cares.

Think I will do this for desert for one of the Bridge Parties......so fun!

LIVE LONGER, HEALTHIER & HAPPIER.....

I am so tired of crying, stressing and being frustrated!!!!

I go by my condo today and the flyer box is gone and there is no sign out on the road there is a place for sale back in there......the agreement.....lower the price and put up a sign!......when it's your kids.....who are barely speaking to you.......what do you do?   The neighbor called thinking it had been sold and was disappointed to find .......NOTHING BEING DONE!  Am I praying loud enough?

I saw a few suggestions that might help me live longer.......Think Young, stay young......People who feel three or more years younger than their true age actually live longer than those who feel their real age or older......it didn't mention if you needed to act your age or not!.......For your aches and pains reach for ibuprofen like Advil or Motrin .......they alter the level of certain amino acids in the body in a way that slows aging in each and every cell........adds 12 years or more!......Gain 2 more years by setting goals.....Gain 1 year by eating dark chocolate........eat too much and you die of diabetes I bet..........Live 10 more years with hand weights, just do 10 bicep curls twice a week.....even with two cans of soup......this trick works better than losing 20 pounds....oh yes.........I knew I named my blog ....."I DID'T KNOW THAT!" for a reason.

My precious great-grandson Aaron Scott Horton......he'll keep me young!

WHAT'S YOUR ROLE IN LIFE?

 I am waiting for someone to ask me to take a job I don't want or go somewhere I do not want to so I can say......."I wish I could......but I really don't want to"......and see the look on their face.  Spent the afternoon loving my sweet great-grandson.

It seems we all define ourselves with labels because of something called the social self.....which is the part of you that interacts with the world.   Every day we go forth with our  social selves in tow interacting with different people and situations and we act different in every case.......you know you are a subordinate to your boss, have a certain role to play with your mother-in-law or your best friend.......Negative self-definitions are very harmful.....I am ugly, stupid, anxious, neurotic or lazy.....when you label yourself you act accordingly......but they may not be true a all......so stop the labels!....stop and ask yourself.....are they true?????  Consider this;.... Cells in your body are replacing themselves all the time.  The clump of molecules you currently call your body does not share the exact same group of atoms with the clump you called your body a minute ago......so think back to when you put that label on yourself and realize you are no longer that same person......You have a whole new role in life.

LOSING BELLY FAT???

Had Bonnie and Shirley over today for lunch and Mexican Train and the big topic of the afternoon.......among other things.......Why all our weight now days seems to go to our belly?   Every magazine I pick up has some neat suggestions on the problem and how to live longer if we get rid of our belly fat......FLASH FORWARD TO 2015:  BREAKING RESEARCH REVEALS THAT THERE IS AN EASY WAY TO ACTIVATE BROWN FAT!!!!!  Now from this article white people have brown fat.....and you don't need to exercise to get the fat-burning benefits of brown fat because Melatonin produces the same function.  A few months ago I started using Melatonin to sleep........Melatonin production drastically decreases as we get older.......causing our sleep patterns to change and body fat to accumulate........but Melatonin causes the brown fat in our body to burn itself up for energy and can spread to white-cells in their path and burn it up.  "Melatonin is a powerful anti-inflammatory and antioxidant .......it helps your body go into a deeper sleep, and that allows for the release of growth hormones, which rebuilds you skin cells, your muscle cells and your bone cells......helps sagging skin, that is why sleeping truly is beauty sleep."  So maybe we should all be taking Melatonin......even if you don't have sleep problems!!!  AND.....drink more green tea.  it helps cartilage stay hydrated, preventing tears and pain, plus delivers tons of EGCG a unique anti-arthritis antioxidant.  I can handle tea and melatonin.......

ANOTHER MOTHER'S DAY SLIDES BY.......

So fun to see what your children and grandchildren remember  growing up.......two sets of photos put together and featured on face book......Tiff and Richie.......Since day one I was always a part of their lives......baby sitting, making costumes, going to school and church programs they were in.   I loved them to death and they knew it.  They always loved Grammie's house for sleep-overs or just to be spoiled.....In Tiff's photos....her mom, Robin, Scott's Mom and I are all front and center in Tiff's life and now she is a mom.....Pam a grandma, Robin grandma and me a great-grandma......... to that cute little Aaron.  I know all my grandchildren love and are very proud of their mother's and so am I.

Today Sherrie came in to see me and go to lunch.....she hung some pictures for me and we had a good visit......I miss her so much and she only comes in from Vernal a couple of times a month.  Getting things ready for lunch tomorrow with Bonnie and Shirley......two great friends. Windy and cool today.  I am so excited my new neighbors on the left are moving in this week...... Gay and Ivan Hill and probably the Taylors........

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY.......

I say happy Mother's Days  to every Mother and there are many wonderful Mothers out there.......but let's face it .......there are some not so good also.   Through the years from some of my friends stories of their mothers and families........I realize how lucky I was to have such a wonderful, talented, caring and always there mother for me as I was growing up........She died at 58....way to young, when the twins were almost two and  they never got to know her.....but my oldest daughter Pam.....her first grandchild........ was almost 13 and remembers her.  I adored her and was very proud of her and all my friends.....girls and boys.....loved her.  She loved everyone unconditionally and never judged anyone......I did not inherit that!  I could write pages and pages about this unique person, but those who knew her already know what a great example and person she was and influence in their lives. 

I had a nice Mother's Day.......Went to my oldest granddaughter's for brunch.....came home and took a nap and then the Cooks brought ice cream by and we watched a movie.....Sherrie called early before church and was looking forward to skyping her missionary in Washington State at 5;00.........  lots of pretty flowers.

IT'S WHERE.........

Seems I have done a lot of praying lately........Since October and I said "Yes I will move" things have not been the same in my life....I have tried to hid it from my family and only complain to my sister and close friends......I know the children mean well and have gone that extra mile to make it OK......but it is not!    All the wonderful dreams and plans they had for fixing the condo and selling it have only emerged into everyone hating and blaming everyone else for the disaster it is.....I have tried to keep positive and be a wise person that knows that there is something to be learned from everyone and every experience in life......but I seem to be having a very hard time doing that....I so need to talk to my little sister tonight, but know she is somewhere out there with her family celebrating graduation of a cute  granddaughter......

I do have a nice home now.....somewhere you can make pancakes at 2 in the morning.......it's where you will perform epic shower concerts when no one is around.....it's where you feel at home looking grundgie....it is where you long to be when you're any where else......it is called home.   It can be a tent.....a cabin....a mansion......a castle .....it is all the same to you......it is home......Yes, I will keep praying and try to remain strong for the children that still speak to me.....

..but I don't know how much longer I can keep playing this game?????

Today Pam, Rob and I went over and tried to spiff the place up a bit......suggestion of one of the real estate people...... and  to lunch at Zuppas........Richard brought by two fun lavender plants and a bouquet of flowers from him.......... for me........ for mother's day.......????? 

STAY POSITIVE.......

 

 

"REMEMBER.......AS FAR AS ANYONE KNOWS.......WE'RE A NICE NORMAL FAMILY!".........I feel I should have that tattooed on my forehead........If we have a nice normal family.....heaven forbid anyone should have a more normal one.......If I don't get the condo  sold soon ......I will jump off a cliff......why did I ever let someone else tell me what I needed to do .......they have no idea what this has put me through.......Oh yes, I am trying to stay positive!

Another windy cloudy day.......cold with more rain.   Spent the morning on the phone trying to iron out what to do with the condo........I can't just give it away.....I owe the kids too much money.......and it has been on the market for 3 months now......but they just keep reassuring me "IT"S ALL GOOD"~~

OH YES.......HUMMINGBIRDS!

I am anxious to get my little humming bird feeder up and see if my two favorite little birds can find my new house.   The past few years in my old neighborhood I had darling little birds off my patio who didn't pay any attention to the dog or I. I loved watching them every day.   As I sit at my desk this evening looking out over my view I see two rows of town houses that look just alike with a nice green lawn between their back patios ......some with white fences......some without.  I wonder who lives in each one and will I someday get to know them and their story......It is lonesome in a new neighborhood where you don't know anyone......  There is also a threatening dark sky looming over the West and more rain is forecast for the next few days......BUT we sure do have pretty green lawns.

Darren came by with two dozen gorgeous red roses for MOTHER'S DAY......He has always been my flower son-in-law!.....and I love being spoiled.   Sherrie has been suffering with a bad back all week.  Annie came over and showed me her engagement ring last night.  I am so excited Brayden asked when he gets off his mission could he live with me and go to school here in Salt Lake.....I would love it!

 

SOMEDAY..........

I was assured that it was time and they had everything under control to sell my house and move into a place with no stairs.......I had a million questions and reasons why it was not the time......no one listened......well six months later I still have all those questions and it is all very confusing......Oh the house will sell very fast....NOT SO....... still trying to sell it and paying a grundle for the loan interest and two sets of condo fees......I  hate debt as my credit score of 8.73 tells you.  I have cried over the family fighting over the remodeling and difference of opinion and not speaking to each other to many nights to count.......and I keep getting reassured......IT'S ALL GOOD.....maybe for them but not me.   They have been so good and keep trying to make everything good, but I am still working on working it out!

As I sit at my desk looking out the window to west we are having a huge rain storm with the thunder and lightening and I love it......Been raining for two days and everything is so green and pretty.   Today Pam took me out to the DMV to get a handicap sign for the car......so I guess I am OLD now!  We used it twice before I got home.  Did some shopping for Mother's Day and even got Pam a birthday present she saw.....so had good luck.  My Annie came by to show me her engagement ring and we had a nice long chat about what is ahead for her in life.   The last of my three granddaughters to get married.   One grandson married and five more to go......they grow up......but isn't that what you want?????

 

YOU HAVE THE POWER OF "INSTEAD"...........

Once upon a time.......I was brave enough to let go on the roller-coaster......now days.....just the thought of one is scary.......Thank goodness for pictures.....and the fun of remembering.  In your younger years you have the power of "instead".......and you use it a lot without even knowing it probably.  Instead of always playing it safe, you can take a chance.  Instead of giving in or giving up, you can go for it.......instead of dwelling on doubts that hold you back, you can believe in yourself ......... there's no one more worthy.  INSTEAD......... can change everything!......Instead of living a life of regrets get busy and start living the life you want while there is still time.......your life is not a do-over......

It is a cold cloudy day and has finally started to rain.....Darren brought some railroad ties for a nice step off my patio for Gigi and I...such great kids.  I was going to the post office and store.....but may just stay in where it is warm and cozy. Pam called and we are going to lunch tomorrow........Leslie called and they think Kristi had a heart attack.....she will be in our prayers tonight.

ANNIE GOT ENGAGED......

Last night Matt Fritzche asked Andrea Cook to marry him!  AND SHE SAID YES!.........The result of a blind date......she was friends with his sister.......August the 28th is the date.

I say to Annie;  Your story is unfolding and it is amazing....you will be turning 20 a few days before your wedding.....a wonderful age......you may have been picturing yourself as a minor character ....but in fact you play the staring role in your life......and also the screen writer and the director!......True....... there will be ups and downs and cliffhangers, but you are in charge of your future.....don't ever give this power away."

 

 

DESIGNER GENES.........

Normal......when  I hear that I always ask myself....compared to what or who?????  I am normal for me.....but everyone else may not agree.....a very busy day, paying bills, picking up mail, exchanging drill bits at Home Depot.....then a doctor appointment.....dropped off a bundle at the Good Will , shopped 45 minutes until time to meet Karrie and Annie....over to feed Pannier's Gold fish and home to finish laundry and make the bed...I'm just going to Garage Sales tomorrow and hang out!

While I was shopping I got to thinking about labels.......you can learn a lot from a label on your clothes.....you can find out where it was made, if it is washable, It's fiber content and who designed it....... But suppose someone sewed the wrong label in it......you might care for it improperly and toss you wool skirt in the dryer......I realize God put a label on all of us before we were born.  It reads;  precious, one-of-a-kind, handle with care.   But you find as people grow older they switch out their labels with one of their own.......I am stupid.....I am a loser.......I am unlovable  and unattractive.  Sometimes those closest to us help us put these labels on us......but you can trust what God says about you and you should remove any other labels..

Had a long talk with my neat friend Nadine in St. George who turned 84 today......miss our good times.  Sherrie called and just as she drove into her place she was in time to see their second baby calf being born......she was very excited!

Wish my condo would sell this weekend!!!!!