SOME DAYS I AM EMPTY......

Some days I can hardly wait to get to my blog I am so full of thoughts and fun things to write.......and some days......well some days I just sit there and stare out the window or have so many things going on in my head I get any of them to stop long enough to write about them......Today nothing!  I did get a little message off to my sweet Missionary Brayden.. .....He has almost reached his 1 one year mark and we will start counting down till he comes home.......I guess I could write a book about what these young people go through when they leave home for two years to live in a strange place, with a strange person that is their shadow day and night.  Told to stay centered on a strange language and many have not yet got a real testimony and know scriptures, they are living and meeting a rainbow of people and have to reinvent themselves to fit in.......in a small town or area they came from they might have been a big fish in a small puddle.......but in a big new place they are a tiny fish in a big puddle.....Love them all and know it is a learning experience........DONE!

JUST ONE.......

Think about the first lowly little number one!  Just one!  Very few people want just one of anything anymore.   But there are many wonderful #1's to be had.  One day can make all the difference.  One day can chase old troubles away and bring new blessings.  One day can put problems in perspective and present real solutions.  One day can put you back on track or on a better path.  One day can change your whole outlook and make you feel new again,.......I hope that one day is today for all of us who are struggling in our lives.  Think back ......there is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future in.  It might be a person you meet, it might be a book you read......it might be a few encouraging words from a friend......but it can happen.......I am thinking my one day could be the day I started back to church........it can't hurt and it might help!

Had a great 24th of July......Nice dinner and movie and then off to Cottonwood Heights to set up our chairs and people watch until the fireworks started.  They had a big DO going up there......carnival rides, tons of food and tents with shows, we wished we had spent the day there......next year?  It was great weather and fun to be with a lot of happy people.

HAPPY 24TH OF JULY........

 Yea.....it is just FRIDAY for most of the states......but in Utah it is an especially fun FRIDAY.    It is the time the Mormons celebrate Utah being settled by Brigham Young.......one of the leaders of our church.......as they came over the hill and looked into the valley......there was a big lake and one tree......and it was hot like the desert.  Today there is a big parade, rodeo and fireworks.  A couple of my friends and I are off to an early dinner, a movie and then find a good spot to set up our chairs to watch fire works.  It is a little windy but a nice day for a celebration.  I use to celebrate with my family.......but now days they all do their own thing so I have to also.  Christensons are at their cabin in Park City, the Panniers went to Island Park....(they did invite me to go the night before, but I had made my own plans by then)......and the Cooks, who knows.  Oh well, happy 24th to all of them.  My new neighbors did invite me to go up the canyon and cook breakfast with their family, which is so nice.

When you  discover the world around you ......you discover the world within you!

Be sure there is no room in your crayon box for the black crayon...

What is my desire?......To live in peace with that word.."........"Myself".

HOW TO KNOW WHEN TO STEP IN OR STEP OUT?

Seems I always think of New Year's as the time for new resolutions to be better and do better. But then I decided why wait for NEW YEARS.....why not now.  My new year can begin anytime!  So I have started to church, I have decided to jump in and get acquainted with the new neighbors....we are all new so no one can judge you......January 1st isn't my only chance; every day is an opportunity to start over or start fresh, to set a goal and reach for a dream, to de-stress and reenergize, to stop worrying and start living.......to choose to be healthier and happier.  These choices I can make anytime.

Some of the most amazing people in the world were not perfect;  they were scared by suffering , hardships, losses and imperfections.  But, when they recovered, they were stronger, wiser, and more loving and compassionate.....many went on to contribute much to our world. 

I try to be a good friend and have two very unhappy good friends......one just lost her husband and is completely lost in the world of today as how to live her life that is left......all by herself.  She keeps waiting for someone to tell her what to do......because he always did!  The other person is watching her husband die and worries constantly how can I go on.........having been divorced for 29+ years......I try and tell them......only they can make themselves happy and finish off their lives......don't depend on kids, neighbors  or extended family to do it.......they are too busy living their own lives.......and there are many trials ahead for each one in his own circumstances.........I have been there....done that and lived to have many wonderful years and good times.  We had lunch together today and I felt so helpless on knowing how to lighten their burdens.  They will be in my prayers tonight!

Tomorrow is UTAH'S big Mormon celebration........24th of JULY.

BIRTHDAYS.........

                   Spent a delightful day with my favorite bridge club......I have wonderful friends.   Did I win? No, I am lucky to win once a year......but I don't go to win, I go to enjoy the ladies I have known for so many years and compare our aches and pains, our children's lives etc.  Pam and Rob ask me to go to Island Park with them for the weekend of our 24th of July celebrations but I have already made plans with friends and need a little notice.  Hopefully one week from today I will sign over the house and can pay back my debts by the end of next week!!!!!HOPEFULLY.
                   Why do we celebrate birthdays....what is there in getting older?  Do the cake , candles and presents represent anything?  Some people celebrate special days like Christmas, baptisms, promotions etc.  There really isn't anything special about getting older......well, maybe 100 would be special.....it takes no effort......it just happens.....OR NOT!  Perhaps we should think of it as getting better.Yes, a shape of an old lady fits my choice now days......unless they come up with a cure for wrinkles, grey hair, poor eyesight and hearing and more aches than I can count.

MY MISSIONARY......

My sweet missionary Brayden is such an inspiration to me......and everyone that knows him.   He just has that spark.  Here he is in Spokane with a cute girl that grew up with his mother, Julie Rice something......at a family home evening gathering.  Really a small world.  He almost has one year in the field, and he has had some struggles with companions and all but we all have our days where we feel we can't survive.  Sometimes dreams are shattered.....friendships may fall apart.....loved ones may hurt us or die.......finances may worry us.....sickness may over take us......but if we have faith we know God will guide us through even the toughest of times so just hang on and have faith.  

I hope I don't have another year like this one......got my fingers crossed the house sale goes through in about 10 days and I can soon get out from under my debts.  Last night my fun nephew, Mike, and his family came by and helped me eat the barrel of pasta salad I made........I gave three of my neighbors some and will be eating pasta chicken/fruit salad all week!  Pam got home from Minneapolis this morning and Robbie has been helping me get the last of the paper work done for the house sale......kids are great.

29 YEARS AGO TODAY........

WOW.......29 years ago today.......my then husband.....waltzed in and announced....."I have been to see a lawyer and I am suing you for a divorce"...... (mental cruelty).....I believe was the reason!!!!!  I helped him pack his clothes and he was gone.....No, it wasn't easy at the time, but God moves in his way and in his time.....it was time after 30+ years of his cheating and lying to the girls and I that we were set free......AND the girls and I deserved better.  I can't believe how far I have come and after the first years of adjustment etc. how very happy I have been with three darling families that have taken very good care of me.  Been around the world, enjoyed being Concierge at the Double Tree Hotel and going back to college.  Loving and watching the 9 grandchildren grow up and find their place in world. I have so many good friends and good health.  I am looking forward to a few more years and I know I am a lot happier than he is at this time in our lives........You find there is no "do overs" in life and you just keep moving forward.  Interestingly enough I am not the only divorced woman in the world!
                           Went to garage sales this morning and going out to celebrate my freedom of 29 years....... for dinner with some other divorced ladies........

A THOUGHT.......

I really ought to change my blog now .......to" out my front window".........As I sit at the computer......most every evening......and watch the world go by......it is very entertaining, but also........ a little sad.  For instance a young father with two little boys....in rubber boots no less, stopping at each puddle in the gutter where the water from the lawns have gathered.to splash.   Then a mother with a child in a stroller, soon two people with Yorkies.......one pulling, one being drug along, a lady with two very big dogs, one white , and one black enjoying their evening outing.  In the sky, an airplane heading for the airport......people getting home for the weekend, people coming to SLC for business, funerals, to see their children?????  Everyone of them with a story to tell, that I would love to hear....I think. Alone can be good....but not best..

Sherrie and Darren are at the cabin in Park City......Pam flew to Minneapolis to see Nicci and Bill. ......and I guess the Cooks are still out there and tomorrow is church which I am  almost starting to look forward to it because there are people there who act like they are glad to see you.........Oh two missionaries just rode by on their bikes......but they can't visit with me because I am a single woman!!!!!!!

When we do not understand , agree or accept someone's ways.......why do we judge?  We should honor their positions and they ours.  We do not know their past....but we should respect this person just for who they are.....remember we  automatically give to each person we meet, but we choose what we give.  Our words, our actions, must consciously set the stage for the life we wish to lead.

"WHAT YOU ALLOW.....IS WHAT WILL CONTINUE"

"I AM ONLY RESP9ONSIBLE FOR WHAT I SAY......NOT WHAT YOU UNDERSTAND"

HABA NA HABA (little by little)........

What is it about a boy and a dog........that just seem to go together? This is my darling grandson Alex with his new puppy.........  His first real dog "Doug"......got run over about 10 days ago and here he is grinning happily with "Lil Red"......I hope Red stays out of the road......Dougie didn't!!!!!

Today I hoped would end the paper work on my condo......they inspected the furnace and put the "green" sticker on......which I have no idea what it was for but had to be done.....sweet Rob was there supervising and Pam with a vacuum to clean up after them......THEN Hooper called and said......"just one more thing Betty"......I said No.....but I guess I have to come up with a deed of the place which is in the Family Trust at the Lawyers.......maybe ROBBIE will know what to do.    We are suppose to sign two weeks from today.........Haba Na Haba........it has been a loooooong 10 months. 

Pam off tomorrow for a few days with Nicci and Bill in Minnesota......Rob home with the dogs.

The new Senior Citizen Center of Midvale......my new city......opened today.   My friend Patty was to go with me to the grand opening.......time came and no Patty.......so I went by myself......not much I would want to do this month.....maybe later......she called later and said it was on her calendar for tomorrow........OH WELL.

NEVER SAY NEVER.........

There is always time for a little prayer......and god always listens.........

I think back and try to remember how many times I have said NEVER......Never say "Never"......I am trying to eliminate it from my vocabulary.....I have learned there are things I prefer, and others I avoid, but the word never leaves no room for unseen situations, and never covers a long, long time.......with the many unknowns of life.

A THOUGHT:  Everything exists on the planet for a reason.  Everyone thing has a purpose.  There are no freaks, misfits or accidents.  There are only misunderstandings and mysteries not yet revealed to mortal man by God.......A great story and example of this is a woman complaining of the terrible swarms of bush flies that flew into her ears, nose, throat and clung to her skin.  She hated them and fought them off and could not understand why the natives of this tribe stood still until they moved on......A caring member told her everything in Oneness has a purpose.......to you they are bad, but to us they are necessary and helpful.  They crawl down our ears and clean out the wax and sand from sleeping on the ground, they climb up our nose and clean it out so we can breath better and they eat up the dead skin our body is constantly slufing off each day......and we eat their larva  for protein.....so it makes you stop and think and ponder how these people with so little........ have so much......and can be so smart learning to live with what they have and endure..

Went to church this morning and to see the Minions.......could hardly stay awake.

ABOUT TO GIVE UP..........

 

I truly know this to be true.......but it is oh so tempting......to say some of the mean things you are feeling and thinking.....but no one can fight alone so just walk off.

Two fun days with friends.....yesterday was Bonnie's birthday.....so we celebrated with lunch and Mexican Train at Shirley's house.......lost my keys and got a long list of to-do's from the buyer of my house......will this never end????? The boys said we could handle it next week......I just want it done.!

Got a new wireless printer a couple of days ago and having trouble with it already.....I hate all these fancy new gadgets......maybe someone will come by and help me out.

Today Patty and Ruth came for lunch.....with these two anything goes....Patty lost her husband about six weeks ago and Ruth's could go any time....... mine has been gone 29 years the 18th of this month......hard to feel sorry for them and I want to tell them life single isn't all bad.

Guess I'll do a movie and church this weekend.......not much else happening.

ONE OF THOSE DAYS......

How can you tell when your going to have a good day????  Some days are, some days aren't!  My day was going Okay when after spending an hour writing a letter to my missionary......the printer would not turn on so I could print it and get it in the mail......Then I was off to get my nails done, no problem, found some shoes to go with my new dress for Andre's wedding but when I got home and got the mail.....I had a jury summons and a letter from the Real Estate that didn't make sense so Pam and Rob are coming over to HELP me......understand it all.  My life wasn't always like this.......
               I liked this proverb from the Indians......When the blood in your veins return to the sea and the earth in your bones returns to the ground........Perhaps then you will remember that this land does not belong to you.....It is you who belongs to the land.  Sherrie made Brayden and I each a book of her talks from her journal....so much work but something I will always cherish.........as for me, I don't do talks in church.......or prayers.

LIVE....LOVE.....LAUGH

I got a wonderful message from my Missionary today......he loves me and misses me and sent a cute picture of a mother deer and a baby deer he saw and thought of me.  Brayden I love you and will write more emails ....promise.
                   I didn't get much done today......the floors and washed my sheets.  Talked to Pam, Lucille and Leslie and that always makes my day.  My todo list is long for this week.....but not making any promises.  Trying to teach my dog about the electric fence and am literately ready to kill her......she is 13 and the saying "you can't teach old dogs new tricks" was quoted by someone trying to get their dog use to using the back yard......and the electric collar......maybe tomorrow.  Really tired tonight and don't have much to say........

SURVIVED THE FOURTH????

 Why does it take so long?  I started to church 3 weeks ago to please my children.......they have been so good to me.....I know in their hearts this is where they want me to be.....and they have no idea how hard it has been for me to get here......since last October my life has been on their terms.....move, live with Pannier's (which was great fun), empty boxes and find places for your things and find many missing that were not your choice to give to the DI......try and sell the condo for four and a half months.......It is finally under contract.....but was once before......I have cried barrels and been so depressed......but three weeks ago I decided I had been asking so much from God.......maybe I should show him I could give a little so went to church with my darling neighbors the HILLS.....and guess what.......I enjoyed it and I am anxious to know everyone in our small ward and my inner peace is coming back....so many of my neighbors are LDS I want to belong and help out and be helped.  Today I was amazed......Sherrie had put the church books in my "IPAD" and in class when everyone was looking up the scriptures they were using I could find them also.....I am lucky to have God, have children and good neighbors......and hopefully when I sell the condo and pay the boys back I will find INNNER peace again.  I don't want my last days to end like they have been......I am sorry all of my children are at war with each other and me......but I have to find peace other places and maybe God is testing me for some reason.......HAPPY SUNDAY.

A DAY LATE AND A .....OH YOU KNOW?????

I find to often anymore I am a day late and a dollar short.........but honestly I didn't have a minute to wish my family Happy Fourth of July..........All the kids were out of town having fun with their families......so what does a lonesome old grandma do????......She calls up her friends .....whose kids are out of town and they are lonesome.......and we put out heads together to see what trouble we can get into. Sooooo we started out at Gardener village.....shopped around and had lunch......then home to let all our dogs out to pee and then off to a movie......then I had to water Pam's flowers and feed the fish and let my dog out again.....In the mean time Shirley losses her keys and cannot get into her house......a little panic to spark up the day......she finally found her son who had another set of keys........(these old ladies, I am sure Scott was thinking)....... and we were off to get some dinner before the program and fireworks at Holiday Elementary......we were quite early........Oh yes, as we went to get in the car to leave for dinner I crawled into the backseat of Bonnie's car......and under the front seat were Shirley's keys!!!! we all decided not to tell this to Scott for a few days.......a quick dinner ......then off to set up our chairs and get a good parking spot.  Fun evening "people watching" before the band got there and wonderful fireworks.....I got home finally at 11:45......after starting off at 10:30....13 hours on the go.....IWASDONE!

I just want the kids to know.......I got along wonderfully before you came along and I will get

along with or without you now!...but, not because I want to!

WOW....HOW DID IT GET TO BE JULY????

Oh......how I will try to make these words come true....... Yesterday.....July first, I went to lunch, a movie and shopping with friends only to hear from my Real estate Broker I had an offer on my condo.   We worked through it all afternoon and arrived at 318,000.00 with me paying her closing fees........which is what Darren and Robby told me was ok from my original offer of 325,000.00......anyhow I signed a contract to sell and hopefully close on the 28th of July......for 318,000.00....I will have nothing left by the time I pay my loan......my real estate fees and Darren for remodeling......but it will be done and maybe I can close the door on that chapter of my life.......the months since October of last year have almost done me in........Leslie and I need to go on a cruise, but we neither one can afford one........so today I turned to Nordstrom's Rack.....because Pam had found 2 really cute dresses out there to wear to see Nicci and I found a dress I will wear to Annie's Wedding......Now I just have to lose 20 pounds!........anyway my world looks a little brighter tonight with the house under contract.  My cute neighbor Ivan brought me down some chocolate strawberries and my other neighbor NU brought me some hot pears in a really good sauce last night......Betty....it is all good! 

"DON'T REGRET GROWING OLDER IT IS A PRVILAGE DENIED TO MANY"