AMENITY.....

Amenity: Quality of being pleasant or agreeable; civility; suavity. An act, pursuit, civility, feature or the like, expressive of , or conductive to pleasantness or smoothness of social intercourse.

Grandmother warned, "Always remember the amenities." I had no idea what this meant. I eventually thought she meant when you went to the hotels, to always take home the little soaps, shampoo and lotion bottles they set out. You know the amenities or extras for the comfort of your stay. Well, that is not exactly what she had in mind. When grandma said "Always remember the Amenities" she followed it by no matter what kind of bad things happen in your life, you can hold your head up high, if you "Observe the Amenities."

If I could teach my children and grandchildren one lesson I have learned in my almost eighty years of life, it would be......."Observe the Amenities" and go on to explaine the amenities are gestures of civility performed in this very uncivilized world, small acts of kindness to let others know that their lives are noticed and their presence valued. Reach out every day to your loved ones, neighbors, friends and even complete strangers, extend your hand to give some small gesture of your caring.

I also feel some of the amenities of my life are the beautiful mountains I live near, the sunsets on the Great Salt Lake, the sun and moon, flowers and birds of my area. Yes, I will always "observe the amenities" as long as I live!

THE GOOD OLE DAYS.....

I can't let August go by without another thought of the wonderful woman my mother was, who would have been 100 this month. When I think of how far I have come in my 80 years and look back to what raising a family of five-plus was in her youth, it just blows your mind. When we lived on the ranch, we had no running water, electricity, central heat or laundry facilities. She chopped wood, carried water from the near by spring, heated it on a wood stove to wash and bath in. Brought ice in from the ice house for the "ice box", as it melted she had to empty the pan so it would not over flow and have to be mopped up. Keep the coal-oil lamps filled and cleaned for lights at night. Be sure Dad had carried in wood and coal to heat the place. Hang the wash on a line, in the winter they would not dry and be brought in frozen stiff and hung on chairs to finish drying. She heated the irons on the stove to iron her girls clothes for school. She had a big garden, that she harvested, canned and stored in the celler for winter. She had a treddle sewing machine she made our clothes on. We shopped in the Sears Roebuck and Montgomery Wards catalogues that came twice a year.......when the new ones came the old ones were taken to the out house (two holer) for toilet paper. .....which was hot and smelly in the summer and freezing cold in the winter! But, as a small girl I always remember her happy and she loved life and people. She played the piano beautifully, she loved to write poetry and stories. She liked to paint and sewed beautifully. She loved old drift wood, interesting rocks, and garage sales. She did not like to cook (as I don't either?) but we never went without plenty to eat. What would she think of my home today with every convenience available? My cell phone, digital camera, electric fire place, computer, kindle, ipod, gps ,CD'S and red box movies for a dollar. She would no doubt think she had died and gone to heaven......or maybe she has all this where she is......in heaven. Thank you Mom for all the love that made up for any inconveniece I might have had growing up........Mother's picture in the center of the picture.

MY SUMMER FRIENDS.....

I hate to see summer end for many reasons, but one of them is that my little summer friends will soon be off to Mexico or some exotic warm place for the winter. Early in the spring I put out my hummingbird feeder and soon I had one, then two very regular little birds visit me every day. I named them Jack and Jill. One was a little larger and brighter than the other so thought it might be the male. They have become very tame and if I stand perfectly still they completely ignor me and go about their daily routine. They don't pay any attention to Gigi. The past couple of weeks I have seen a third little guy and he and Jack seem to get into it as if Jack is defending his territory. I have spent many relaxing hours watching them busy at work. I have many pots of flowers on the patio this summer and love my fountain's soothing rippling sound. A good place to get out my Kindle and enjoy a good book as I watch Jack and Jill in the cool of the summer evening. It will end only to soon and my friends will soon fly away, but they have given me much pleasure this summer. Hummingbirds are a new world phenomenon, living only in the western hemisphere. There are 330 know species in the world, mostly live south of the US. In Utah broadtailed and black-chinned are most common. World News: Two earth quakes yesterday in the U.S., one in Colorado and one near Washington D C. And Gadhafi was over thrown in Libya. So many changes in our world.

FAMILY TRADITIONS-

When you have four birthdays in one week, your family tradition is pared down, Instead of four spegetti dinners, you combine them and only get one! Well last night we rounded up three of the four birthday people and descended on the Spegetti Factory for one of our favorite meals. Most of us know before we even set down what we are going to order, Managers special with meat sauce and mizeethera cheese, salad with blue cheese dressing and spamoni ice cream, are favorites for a very long time. Then there are the little boys who stick to "Mac and Cheese". We will convert them eventually though. The first round was just the Cook family and Pam and I. It was Pam, Andea and Richard's birthday. It was also Brayden's but he couldn't make it in from Vernal. Then Tiff and Scott called Pam and said they'd like to go........then Rob called and said some of the deer hunters had gotten sick and he and the boys would be back.......in time to meet her for dinner. SOooooo we ended up with 12 people, a real birthday party! I love it when we all get together, even unexpectedly. We really missed the Christenson's family, but understand they can't just drop in from Vernal. Memories.......Today school started, happy mothers, excited children. Leslie called and said my Aunt Josephine died. I called to tell Lucille, Aunt Josephine was the last of our aunts and uncles on my mother and her dad's side. Off to get my nails done.

BIRTHDAY NUMBER 4 THIS WEEK....

Happy Birthday Richard!......Been a busy birthday month in my family,why all the same week? Party, party, party, then the rest of the month nothing? Well, not nothing but no birthday parties. Tonight we will celebrate at the first football game of the season at Brighton High with his son Richie playing on the football team and his daughter Annie in her first year as a cheerleader. Looking forward to being a proud grandmother today. Also my cute grandson Brayden texted me that he passed his drivers test this morning with a 96........YES! So fun to see two new drivers in the family........especially since its not my car I will be giving up part of the time. I went through that with my twins. (Their mothers). Pam's husband and son are off to deer hunting this weekend. Sherrie called they are off to their cabin in Park City for a reunion with some of Darren's class mates, they are a fun bunch. I love to see my family busy and happy. I am sorry summer is creeping to the end.

A SPECIAL DAY 54 YEARS AGO TODAY.....

I became a Mom 54 years ago today......A baby girl I was so thrilled. Pamela Marie. Middle name after my mother and me. She was the first grandchild on my side of the family so was very special to my family. Her father would have preferred a boy, but that is the way with men. She was an only child for 11 years until the twins were born. She always ask for a baby sister and had named her Karrie. So when she eventually got a baby sister......plus one, we agreed on Sherrie to go with the name Pam chose. She was a great big sister. Pam learned to play the piano, ski, swim and played Barbies. She learned to do beautiful hand work and got many awards at the fair. She was always a hard worker and still is. A first child and a daughter always have a special place in a mother's life. She married one of my favorite people Rob, 32 years ago, and had my first three grandchildren, Tiffany, Nicole and William. She has a great family and we have had a lot of fun together. Happy Birthday Pam!

TWO GREAT PEOPLE BORN TODAY......

Today is a very special day for me: First my mother would be 100 today if she were still alive, and second my fourth grandson was born and today is a big 16 years old. Happy Birthday Brayden. Was he cute, or what? And still is. He is an Eagle Scout and spent two weeks in Ghana, Africa last summer building desks for a new school. I understand for this special birthday he starts flying lessons. Oh yes, and gets his drivers licence. He already has a neat white truck he has been fixing up to drive off to the first day of school........ I guess flying is in his blood, with both grandfathers and his father pilots, and I was a stewardess many years ago. We have always loved his talent for wiring anything with an off and on button.......or not. I look forward to watching Brayden continue to grow and become the great man I know he will be. Two August birthdays down and two to go. Pam 18th, Richard 19th. Lucky me.

BIG 16 YEAR BIRTHDAY......ANNIE

Where did the last 16 years go? Andrea Rachelle you have been such a fun member of our family. Always full of surprises. Today you are 16, and no doubt you and your mother are on your way to get your drivers license. How exciting. (I was 16 once.) You made cheerleader and elected captain of your squad. You had a job all summer as a life guard. Now summer is ending and school starts next Monday. Homework, ballgames and proms. The best is yet to come. I am so proud of you and know your gram is always near by watching you turn into a beautiful young lady.

Went to breakfast with the cheer squad this morning and got to meet all the cute girl friends. Had fun birthday shopping last week, of course she looks good in anything. There is something special about girls from the time they don their tu-tus to their cheerleading outfits. I know because I had three little girls. GO GIRL...........

MAKING MEMORIES

Well, here it is the middle of August which means we only have a couple of weeks of summer left. It has been a fun summer, but gone too fast. I have made many memories that I can look back on. Went up one of our wonderful canyons on the Fourth of July with the Cooks....Richard made us a wonderful breakfast that always tastes better in the good ole mountain air. Proof in his cooking skills are the perfect little round pancakes you see. Mean while the three grandchildren discovered a fun cherry tree right by the campsite and proceeded to see who could climb the highest........I guess Richie won. School starts in a week and I think the mother's are more excited about it than the kids. All my grandchildren are hard workers and the older ones all had jobs this summer. Was fun seeing Korina yesterday for dinner, she had brought Kourtney a piano and bar-b-Q she didn't need now that she is married. I hadn't seen Matt or Kameron for a long time and they have really grown up. Off to a family reunion tonight. Four family birthdays next week.......guess we will be busy!

INTERESTING FRIENDS.......

When four old friends get together for a day of lunch and games and all talking at once discussing, children and X husbands you really get an ear full. We have all been divorced, two of them twice yet, but at this time all single and loving it. "While life may not be the party we hoped for, while we're here we should dance because every sixety seconds spent in anger, being upset or mad, is a full minute of happiness that you never get back." We all had our thoughts on our past: "As the days go by I think of how lucky I am that your not here to ruin it for me!"........and yet another thought: "Looking back over the years that we were together, I can't help but wonder.....what the hell was I thinking?" "Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to their option!" And then I say, "Don't be sad because it's over........Be happy because it happened!" We all had to go there with the best of intentions at first, but how else could I have gotten the three wonderful daughters that came about because of my 30 years of marriage. Ann had five daughters which she needs, plus the grandchildren, to help her to the end of her life. Yep, worry looks around, Sorry looks back and Faith looks up. Already we are planning our next fun get together.

i DO NOT KNOW WHAT LIES BEYOND......

"I do not know what lies beyond the horizon, only that the road I walk was meant for me. It is enough.": Alan Christaffersen

We can spend our days bemoaning our losses, or we can grow from them. Ultimately the choice is ours. We can be victims of circumstance or masters of our own fate, but make no mistakes, we cannot be both. We are all on a walk of life. There are people I've yet to meet who are waiting for my path to intersect with theirs, so they can complete their own journeys, and I can complete mine. We all arrive with a round-trip ticket from where we came from---which is inevitable. After a devastating happening in your life they say "time heals everything"---Time does not heal every thing. It's what You do with the time that helps you heal......This I believe.

But it does take time, which too many people do not give their problems. Getting over the rejection of my divorce took at least five years, some people move on in a year or two as if nothing happened. It doesn't work like that. Pam got home from Minnesota safely today and had a good time with Nicci. The twins both called and checked on me, which always makes my day........somebody out there cares. Been cleaning house today, my turn for the travel group luncheon and domino game here Friday. Wow, exciting!

Word Against Me Day.....

We all have those days, "World Against Me Day" when everything we do goes wrong. Well, today was one of those days for my daughter Karrie. You can and should always blame the alarm clock, because that is usually when it all starts. I guess life gives us those days so we will appreciate our good days more. I learned a little poem once: For every problem under the sun, there is an answer or there is none. If there is one, then try to find it, If there is none, then never mind it. I try to think what would make a day bad? You put your bra on backwards and it fits better? Your twin sister forgets your birthday? You put both contacts in the same eye? You take 2 kinds of laxatives, no food, no water for 2 days preparing for a colonoscopy, and find you had the wrong day? You have been on a diet for 10 days and all you have lost is.......10 days? Most the things we let ruin our day are not life threatening and so we do not need to worry or get stressed. There are only two days about which we should not worry, Yesterday with its mistakes and cares. It has passed and is forever beyond our control, it is gone. The other, tomorrow, with all its possible burdens and adversities. Tomorrow is beyond our immediate control, for now tomorrow does not exist. So I hope Karrie has a better day tomorrow and everyone out there. I had a good day, got most my chores done.......

LETTING GO OF OLD IMAGES

Yesterday I spent about six hours with two dear friends in what we call our group therapy sessions over coffee and diet cokes. We each had our complaints to make about what is going on in our lives, sometimes we take turns talking and sometimes we all talk at once.......anyway at the end of time together we all feel better, even if we may not have accomplished a lot. One thing that always comes up in these sessions is letting go of old images of ourselves. It is so hard not to compare ourselves now as to what we use to be. We compare ourselves to younger people. Hey, we were young once and all those young people will grow old ( if they are as lucky as we are!) With a lot of "use-to-bes" we are living in the past. I use-to-be thin. I have many pictures of myself to prove that. (The picture at the left was taken in London on a trip with my sister Dixie and the twins. It was a couple of years after my divorce.) I use to love to walk and did it very well, I had no aches and pains and could take the stairs two at a time, but through the years things change. I need to give up the use-to-be thoughts, and each morning when I look in the mirror be content with the reality match of my present state and the time of life. It's been a fun week with my grandson Kennedy staying with me and having Sherrie here a couple of nights. Karrie's family were lonesome without her this week. Yes, families need mothers but mothers need a break now and then. The girls had a fun shopping trip to LA this week. They always surprise me with fun things.

GIVING THE GIFT OF HERITAGE

This is Scottie Cook my youngest grandchild. I can become the bridge between the past and the present and help my children and grandchildren know they are part of something bigger than themselves. Whenever you give a gift, contemplate possible gifts of heritage you might give your family. I still love the old fashion rule of writing letters. Write each child and tell them what you did as a child when you were their age, or tell them stories about your parents and grandparents and their influence on your life. You can prepare photo albums as gifts for grandchildren, always label who the pictures are of. Write your life history, make a copy for each child. Share experiences of mutual ancestors and the origins of their family lineage by compiling pedigree charts, written histories, life stories, and the stories of any family "treasures" in your keeping. Giving gifts that link the past and the present can help to bring continuity to a family. It has been said "Without the past, there is no future." Share with your children a sense of their roots, and of belonging-things that are important in this changing world. A my age I treasure all the family pictures and histories of my past. For the past three days I have had Kennedy with me as he went to a speech program. He is a delight and I think this is helping a lot. The girls will be home from LA tomorrow, after a couple days break. Pam and Rob are off to Minnesota to visit Nicci and see her he puppy "Oliver."

MEMORIES OF THE PAST--

My summer project is to sort and mount my favorite pictures of my last 25 years of traveling around the world. I typed up all the journals I had of each trip and will have them to explain the pictures. As you read my notes of the trip you can see what I saw at the time. In one bundle up poppped the pictures of me when I was probably 20. A fun day at Elitch's Theme park in Denver, Colorado. Like our Lagoon, only larger! The girl with me on the bicycle is Charlene Kniseley, she was a high school friend and a year older than I was. I have no idea where Charlene is these many years later, but remember her with fondness. I have no idea who the guy playing the guitar is. I just know it must of been a fun and exciting day for me with friends. Pictures are the little anchors we cherish that document our lives. I probably would never have thought of that day again if it weren't for these pictures. Yes, I was young once? In later years I went dancing to the "Big Bands" that use to be at Elitches......with Clifford!

Kennedy is with me this week for a speech seminar, every morning at nine till one. Sher and Kar are off to LA on a purse buying trip. It is cloudy today, but we may get Scottie and and try to swim. Kennedy is a fish. I love having my grand-kids around.