WHAT

There comes a time when you.....".are only you'.....either from divorce, death of a mate or all the children flown the nest and have a life of their own.....which you work all your life for....but are never ready for that day.....I have found the answer to this is ...... TO LIKE YOURSELF....... which allows you not to depend on anyone......Alone  can be a scary word....that is no fun for anyone....but happens to most sometime in their life.....Thanks to wonderful grandchildren.....many of my years have been shared with a grandchild.  Tiff for five and a half years....kennedy for three years....and now Brayden till Libby can get through school.......

I guess this is God's plan as I see it happening to many of my dear friends.  Pam mentioned DON had a heart attack......but I guess I am not in the loop as no one called to tell me and Brayden just called to see if  I'd heard from his folks....and well what do you do when ....well anyway call little sister.....my go to......for comfort.

JUST BRAGGING

Each of my grandchildren.....is part of me....and I hope they each got one of my best features.....but most of all....a love of life and a heart of gratitude....Looking back over my almost 88 years I have been there....done that.  Loved growing up with the support of wonderful parents.....family and friends.  I had a "best friend"....Janet Brown....we shared everything!  As you know...two heads are better than one.....what one didn't think of....the other one did.  So many boyfriends, popular in school...loved to dance .....and just loved getting up every morning.

Then Janet married her high school boy friend and I went on to college....I had a goal in life...to be a stewardess but you had to be 21.....so two years of college at BYU....and a year in Denver as a steno at BIRKHART STEEL CO....another best friend who liked to danced every night at Laurey Air Force Base as I also did and we had a life of fun and fancy free.  I interviewed at six airlines to be an Airline Stewardess and took the first one that offered me a job....Loved....loved flying...and after 2 and a half years met a pilot and got married.....we had three darling daughters and after 30 years he walked out...but we traveled enjoyed our many friends and raised such good girls.  Being single met ANN a travel agent  and I began seeing the world....with experiences and adventures you cannot believe....we wanted it all...by then more grandchildren...9 in all.....and life only got better watching them grow up and get married.....go off on LDS missions....go off to college and grow into wonderful people...yes like their gram ......I was a concierge at the DOUBLE TREE HOTEL for five years and did some volunteer work and kept busy with bridge,.....Mexican Train.....and loving my grandkids....and now we come to seeing the grandkids grow up to be wonderful people......I am very proud of...no one in trouble with the law.....out of wedlock babies....drug addicts....gay or leisbians....we have had a couple of divorced.....but what can say about that.....some religious.....some not.....I have also been there. I have had good health....which I hope they inharit.  Thank you GOD....

A WINNER.....

TO BRAYDEN

When God shows you the way, you don't need to see the whole staircase.... sometimes all you need is a giant leap of faith to get started....... then your way ahead will keep unfolding.......Don't let those limiting beliefs and over whelming excuses stop you to where you are destined to be.  

"FOR MY THOUGHTS ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS.....NEITHER ARE YOUR WAYS MY WAYS..SAITH THE LORD."  ISAIAH 55:8

NEVER GIVE UP OR LISTEN TO OTHERS...YOU AND I BELIEVE YOU CAN AND YOU WILL.....FULL FILL YOUR DREAMS.

MY GRIEF......

Grief....I have discovered.....is only another form of sadness...but there is no other side of sadness...you just absorb it...adjust and accept what you have to .....to get through it,,,,,yes you never finish grief....50 years ago my mother died of cancer.....and especially on her birthday or day she died... grief comes storming back with all the wonderful memories of that person.  A song....a smell...a memory.... can bring that person back to you and the grief of missing them.

50 YEARS AGO....YESTERDAY......

DEAR MOM......50 YEARS AGO .....YESTERDAY ON FEBRUARY 23rd GOD TOOK YOU HOME TO HIM......50 YEARS LATER I STILL MISS YOU SO MUCH......WHY DO SOME PEOPLE NOT CARE FOR THEIR MOTHER'S? ......They can live 10 minutes from them and for five years act as if they never had a mother.....am I a failure?   Yes, I still cry tears for a child who abandening her mother....but God knows how much I love her and miss her.....Also....thanks mom for picking out a grandchild to be born on your birthday...... August 16th to send me Brayden....who takes such good care of me at almost 88....if he can't get me .......texts a neighbor or his mom to see if I am ok..so nice to have someone who cares....I also have my sister, neighbors and daughters that take good care of me. No....I am not happy about getting old and needy...but thankful for so many wonderful people in my life. Happy Birthday Mother

AVOID TRASH DAY....

A new warning for all us old folks......

Seems there are a lot of jokes about "the elderly" going around lately.....Or is it as you get older you start recognizing your self more......

Finally starting to feel better....after two doctors declared I was going to live.....I don't do sick very well.  Had a nice day with the kids.....shopping at Costco and had lunch there.....then home for a nap and a few chores.    and another weekend slipping by.

A QUILT OF MANY COLORS....

Ken showing off his new quilt I made for Valentine's Day....

Ken saw a T-SHIRT quilt his mother had made for his Dad before they got married.....and gathered up a bag  of his old T-shirts and wanted a quilt made.....so Sher passed them on to me...."the quilt maker".....and it took awhile but I got Ken a quilt finally....As you can see ....Ken is into Sharks....so this could be his Shark Quilt.  Fun doing fun things for your grandkids and seems they never get too old to love...."grammie's quilts"...

HAPPY FRIDAY....

I have had a good Friday.....went to the boob doctor and found out no new cancer.....the swelling, hardness and drainage had me worried......Dr Lloyd just got out her nice big long needle and flask and dained two "gallons"......well maybe not that much...... but a lot of water out of my breast and she said that can be normal when they remove lymph nodes.....how did I know that.....I never had breast cancer before!.....Pam took...we stopped for a perscription and had lunch at Chili's.

Been home in bed all week with infected sinous and wheezing .....went to Insta-care yesterday and found no pneumonia......more good news....now to get some energy and get well.....and enjoy spring which is just around the corner.....still fighting arthritis....but feel it is here to stay.  Appreciate all the love and concern from family....friends and neighbors this last week.....My sweet grandson...Bray...even called my neighbor and said...."would you  check on my grandma this morning as she doesn't feel good"....Suzanne....thought that was real nice when she called to see if I needed anything.....

Hope your Friday was a good one.

THANK YOU GOD......

WHY?  Why do we wait until death is breathing down our necks to beg God for another day....instead of thanking him for every day he gives us.....starting way back when.......?  I have had a very good life and have good health all of it.....till this last year.....so consequently I don't do sick very well.....As I traveled around the world and think of the many places I never wanted to get sick in.....and didn't.....thanks God......I still have a few things on my bucket list.....and am enjoying my wonderful family and friends and neighbors......but it is....what it is.   My grandparents died of cancer.....my mother.....one sister and my one daughter has breast cancer.....looks like I am joining the crowd....But I am thinking POSITIVE......

IT'S OK.......

Well......I have had two days of not being OK.....AND it is not fun.  Chest congestion and sinus.....hope I have turned the corner.   I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow to see what is happening in my breast that had the cancer....keep your fingers crossed.  I spent two days in bed but the weather has been cold and no fun to go in.......We are all praying for Darren's dad....his cancer is bad and they now have hospice......Are we ever prepared the end?  Les called and had picked me up some "gummy bears!".......my arms hurt so bad I am trying everything.

SPRING AROUND THE CORNER.....

Somewhere I saw a sign 360 days till spring and after a picture like this......  with all the "BUDS" on the trees I believe it!.....This encourages you to think positive......once you get past the snow drifts!!!!

you can yes.....we will have spring one of these days......January and February are the worst months for me.....winter and you accept it where I have always lived...Colorado and Utah.....but by March you start looking for buds on the trees.....well maybe not like these...... and see the daffadils peeking out here and there,,,,,,,,I am ready for Spring.....let it keep snowing in the mountains where it has been very generous this winter......but I am done down here,

I love people with a sense of humor!

YEA...A NEW RECEIPE....

I never thoought of fish and chips in this degree....but now i have a new receipe for my neighbors on April Fools Day.......sorta like my Banana Bread receipe.....something I can handle!!!!!

I even think this looks good....So hope you like....."FISH AND CHIPS"!

It is a cold and rainy Sunday......really dreary......went to church...came home and ate some soup Sherrie made me and took a nap......what else is there to do on a rainy cold Sunday?  I really don't feel too good....think it might be my cancer pill side effects......ache...eyes bothering me etc.....guess I need to call my doctor and ask her about it,,,,I have been on this new pill a month and thought It was the one.....Exemestane.....I was on Annastrozole and had to quite that one.....We are crushed about Bud and what he has to go through......His cancer diagnoise is....three months if you don't do anything and maybe a year if you go through chemothrapy.....he is going for the three months......we are all sad.....cancer has been a curse on our family.

My roommates went to Vernal for the weekend and should be home shortly....Brayden has to work tomorrow....but Libby has school off for President day!

GOOD 'OLE BERNIE

I WONDER....I WONDER?

Where do people like Bernie come from?  Does he like himself?  Does he really believe all that stuff he is trying to convince the rest of us of.  He is old and groucy and not very well......and trying to point us straight into Socialism........we fought Communism and won....I guess that is what we have to do to dear old Bernie's Socialsm.......

HAPPY VALENINE'S DAY.....

IN MY ELDER AGE.....HUGS ARE MY GO TO!!!!!

ANYWAY HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YA' ALL.....

MINE HAS BEEN OVER THE HILL......MY SWEET ROOMY AND GRANDSON BROUGHT ME A BRAUTIFUL BOUQUET OF ROSES EARLY THIS MORNING AND A CARD THAT STILL HAS ME LAUGHING.......

I ZIPPED OFF TO PLAY MEXICAN TRAIN WITH MY GROUPIES AND WHEN I GOT HOME THERE WAS ON THE COUNTER A DOZEN ROSES AND MY FAVOIRTE COOKIES ....PLUS SOUP IN THE FRIDGE FOR DINNER......THANKS SHER AND DAR....then...I check  THE FRONT PORCH ONLY TO FIND A HUGE-MUNGUS BOUQUOTE OF FLOWERS FROM........? NO NAME....I JUST CRIED.....WHO DO I THANK?  I FEEL SO LOVED......THANKS TO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE MADE ME......ME!

THANK YOU.......

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Day by day we take for granite.....our lives will go on forever.......but we never really know when we have used up all our days......at almost 88  ......I know I am counting mine,,,but thanks to my wonderful family and neighbors......God keeps granting me a few more.......and  I am loving very minute of every one.....Today was Mexican Train day with 3  fun people....and we celebrated Valentine's day in style.....eating...lying....cheating our way through a fun afternoon..... Each morning I thank my wonderful family and neighbors for making my life the "greatest"...I know Leslie is off to California for the weekend to a "baseball ball" tournament for her granddaughter......fun? not for me.....Pam took me to lunch for Valentine's Day on Wednesday.....I knew Bray and Lib were going to Vernal for the weekend as it is her father's birthday and Alex's birthday ....soon after..... and Bray was so sweet.....SHER AND DAR in town to celebrate Valentine dinner with friends and a message before a night in the hotel...when your kids are hsppy ....you are too.  I am so worried about grandpa bud....we are all fighting cancer one way or another......three months with no chemo or maybe a year if we do go through chemo....not a fun decision!!!!!

YEAR OF OPPORTUNITY......

Today is a new day.......God has given me this day to do what I want with it......I can waste it...or I can use it well!....But, what I do with this day is important....because I am exchanging a  day of my life for it!....Tomorrow ...this day will be gone forever......leaving in it's place  what I traded it for......    I want it to be a WIN not a LOSS......GOOD  not EVIL......SUCCESS not a FAILURE...in order that I will never regret the price I paid for this day.......
How can this happen?  By doing one small kindness to someone.....or yourself!....and writing it down on your calendar......call someone....write someone a note.....smile at someone....compliment someone....hold a door open for someone.....or check on all the things you are grateful for in your own life......Trade lives with anyone you know?.........I don't think so......So as the days of 2020 count down.....make them count.     

IT COSTS NOTHING.......

IT'S FREE.....Kindness costs us nothing and is what makes the world go 'round........I know a kind smile....a complement.....an act of kindness.....can make my day.  Something so little....like helping the guy in Burlington buy a shirt and tie....shoes and a jacket the other day.....made me so happy.  He was struggling with should his tie match his soxs or his shirt...were his shoes the right color etc......Yes, he was an elderly man..... All so simple for me and made his day!

A little kindness to someone....gives them  a greater feelings of confidence to face challenges as a result of this preceived kindness.  It seems feeling valued and respected cultivates feelings of happiness and self-efficacy......

I love this quote by Lao Tzu that says....."If you are depressed, you are living in the past; If you are anxious.....you are living in the future......If you are at peace...you are living in the present".......So choose to live in peace.......... living in the present.

Life is not something that happens to us......."life is a participation occupation, and we can all rewrite our stories to shift from disappointment to determination and usher in happiness"......No matter our age.

IT IS ......WHAT IT IS!

ASS HOLE......Hey,  call it the way you see it!  Polosie acting like a two year old tearing  up a copy of the President's speech ......after the speech of the Union.  This picture will be around a long time and she will always be known  for the real person she is!!!!!

How do  you think her children felt seeing their mother in one of our most sacred places and she is like slapping the face of the woman whose husband will never return from war......the little black girl who was given a chance for a good school ......for a young man whose 100 year old grandfather was honored from the war. etc.  These are the real people and their lives are important....they do way more good for our world than Polosie???  She will never live this down.

MOON BOOTS......

Leslie's new Moon Boots.......I couldn't say anything exciting about them.....only they are a good color to match all her outfits........

I do hope she has found the answer to some of her foot and ankle problems......that have plagued her for a very long time.......

We are having another cold and dreary day.......some rain......you just want to stay home and stay warm and dry.  Brayden excited....he found a building of Grandpa Buds he let him use to put together his new invention......so he is off to clean it up and set it up.....I am not sure exactly what it does.....even though he keeps explaining it to me..Love it when someone is so full of ideas and he will someday hit the one that makes him rich.....JUST BELIEVE.

GRIEF......

You just have to do it .....day by day.....BE HAPPY!

I am so happy Trumph was found not guilty today.....the only traitor was "SALT LAKES'S MITT ROMNEY".....what a disgrace for Utah........His career is over here.;;;Trumph said...."Throw me to the wolves and I will return leading the pack!".....YES!

I have thought a lot about Grief....in my life and  in many others......."Grief....I've leaned is really just love.......it is all the love you want to give.....but cannot,,,,,,all of that unspent love gathers on the corners of your eyes....the lump in your throat and in the hollow part of your chest.....Grief is just love with no place to go....."  If you could just cry and wash all the grief and sadness away and be done with it.....how great would that would be?.....But for some reason the hurt just goes on forever.  ....that is the one black cloud in my otherwise controlled life.........The grief for losing a child can be so deep.......if only physically.....not by death.

GRANDMA'S DAY......

WOW.....Here I have been a grandma for 30 some years and did not know we had a special day!  YEA......I have  caught up with Martin Luther King...who has a day?????

Love being a grandma to my nine grandchildren.....and a few others who just call me that....Some people never have this privilage.....I am so lucky.....thanks to my three daughters.  My Mom was a great grandmother to her 13 grandkids.....even though she did not get to know the younger ones.....her love comes from heaven to them.   Thank you for celebrating Grama's Day........

SUPER BOWL.....

i
I am so in tune with this lady......'it is what it is'........A  clean toilet is an every day thing......THE SUPERBOWL......is a once a year deal.    I stayed up with the kids and watched the game till half time so I could see Jo Lo do her thing.....which I was not impressed by.....and found out this morning who won......did not have a favorite!
The Christensons were in town for a friends Bishop appointment and came by for dinner with us....So fun when they pop in .....with part of dinner.....left early to get home before the big forecast snow  storm.....no word from Sher today so far.....but know they made it.....I am worried about Bray and Lib getting home tonight as it is still snowing.......schools closed today because of the weather.......December and January spoiled us.....But winter is winter in Utah.....I have a quiet month so I am making Ken a quilt.....cleaning my closet.....and a nap or two.....

SOOO PRETTY.....

Well.....we really got it last night....not inches....feet!.....We have had a great winter so far....snow in the mountains.....a few skifts in our area melted by noon...but not today.....Some nice man cleared my drive way for me.....Lib and Bray will be happy about that as they left in a blizzard early....early this morninig......Lib to school and bray up at Park City by 4;30 to blow up some avalances dangers before the daily crowd arrives about 7;00......It has snowed all day.....I am so glad I did not have to go anywhere today.   As I look out my window at the back yard I see the trees are full of little birds......hopeing someone will put some food out.....I will tomorrow.,,,too cold tonight,

I know it is winter.....and winter in Utah means cold and snow and ice.....but I am never ready for it at my age......