All I can say is WHY?.....
I almost let this family destroy my life.......but way? We all have choices and what we do with them is up to us, but there are always consequences......and what goes round, comes round!
"You have to love, You have to feel, it is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself that you tasted as many as you could." L. ERDICH
One of my favorite teachers.....family therapist Virginia Satir.....Big in my NLP classes established a model of how we experience transition when hit by a change in our lives.
1. LATE STATUS QUO.......Here you are in the uneventful present, and the skies are clear. But, this stage is called late status quo because.....though you don't yet know it.......something is about to come along and......
2. BAM....an unexpected even occurs. Get a call from your doctor, or boss or find your in a lawsuit.....whatever it is the foreign element tells you, instantly that everything has changed. (one of your children decide they don't need the family any longer)
3. Your life has been turned upside down, What you had hoped for, planned for, or predicted may no longer be possible or even relevant.....This chaos phase works as a kind of incubator, a laboratory where suffering and confusion can lead to something valuable........a million tears do not help!
4. Transforming Ideas.....you may have an epiphany, a stroke of inspiration brought about by all that disorder. You perceive a way forward.... and you begin to ponder ways to put the revolutionary idea into motion. (Face it, you have two other families that love and need you and many of your friends are in the same boat!)
5. Integration and practice.....you may generate and discard several transforming ideas before you find one that fits....but don't get discouraged.
6. FINISH.......As you get use to the idea of one less......by their choice......you ease back into relative peace. The storm clouds dissipate; the skies begin to lighten, you are proud to still be standing so pat yourself on the back; you made it to the other side!!!!!
My life will go on and I will add new friends and neighbors......(that will never take their place)......but will fill the void....in fact my nice neighbor Hon just brought over a bowl of salad and two dough filled things......that I haven't a clue how to cook.....for my dinner tonight.....Yes, life is good.
No comments:
Post a Comment