THE COMPUTER SWALLOWED GRANDMA?

The computer swallowed grandma?

Yes, honestly its true.......

She pressed 'control' and 'enter'....

And disappeared from view!

It devoured her completely?

The thought just makes me squirm....

She must have caught a virus...

Or been eaten by a worm?

I've searched through the recycle bin?

And files of every kind.....

I've even used the internet....

But nothing did I find.

In desperation, I asked Jeeves?

My searches to refine.....

The reply from him was negative..

Not a thing was found 'online'?

So, if inside your 'inbox',.....

My Grandma you should see....

Please 'copy', 'scan' and 'paste' her...

And send her back to me!

I don't know where that came from but he must have known this 'grandma'.....Thank goodness for my wonderful granddaughter, Tiffany, who struggled with me for the five and half years she lived with me on what to push and what not to push. She was very patient and told me the same stuff over and over and over again. Now that she got married and is no longer with me I am still struggling with some very 'common sense' problems. Once in awhile I have to break down and call her with something that the computer outsmarts me on. But all in all I love my computer. I email, blog and am on Face Book. This old grandma is determined not to get left behind in the modern world of machines! Off to bridge today, one of my favorite days of the month.

MAKING RETIREMENT WORTHWHILE

A spider web is a metaphor of the circle of life. The spider teaches his children each time you reach out and connect---Sn your world grows.

There comes a time in our lives when we retire, either by choice or by request. To some it is a long awaited and planned for blessing, to others it is a curse. This is the time in your life when you must reach out and connect with a new interest or challenge. There is a challenge at any age to continue to grow and there are many ways to continue to grow. The hobby you never had time for, a trip you wanted to take, perhaps a new business, the pictures you always wanted to paint or the roses you wanted to plant. For some this will not be enough, you will need a new interest that challenges you every day of your life. The secret in a happy retirement is to not become bored and unhappy, as this leads to illness.

If your not sure which road to take check out the inner child and see if they have any secret desires buried. You may have a secret desire from your childhood that was squashed because the family had no money, no time or no interest in helping you pursue it. Perhaps they told you it was a stupid idea, you had no talent, you were crazy or dumb to waste your time on it. Let that inner child speak to you now, it can open many doors that lead you to complete a dream from your youth. One of my favorite things since I retired is to volunteer at the many needy areas out there. There are many you can help without any great talent. Also I have seen much of the world, this has added many new dimensions in my life to share with family and friends. I guess we just have to realize although there are some negatives there are many pluses if you look for them. Snowed again today........will Spring ever arrive?

THE STATION

We work hard and think much about arriving at "THE STATION" and being welcomed in. As I look forward to another birthday in a month and they keep getting closer to the days I have left on earth ending, I can't help but think about the end. I love Robert J. Hastings story:

"Tucked away in our subconscious is an idyllic vision. We see ourselves on a long trip that spans the continent. We are traveling by train. Out the windows we drink in the passing scene of cars on nearby highways, of children waving at a crossing, of cattle grazing on a distant hillsides, of city skylines and village halls.

But uppermost in our mind is, the finally destination. On a certain day at a certain hour we will pull into the station. Bands will be playing and flags waving. Once we get there so many wonderful dreams will come true and the pieces of our lives will fit together like a completed jigsaw puzzle. How restlessly we pace the aisles, damning the minutes for loitering -- waiting--waiting--waiting for the station.

When we reach the station, that will be it! we cry. "When I'm 18." "When I put the last kid through college." "When I have paid off the mortgage!" "When I get a promotion." "When I reach the age of retirement, I shall live happily ever after!"

Sooner or later we must realize there is no station, no place to arrive at once and for all. The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly outdistances us. "Relish the moment" is a good motto especially when coupled with Psalm 118:24: "This is the day which the Lord hath made: we will rejoice and be glad in it." What drives us mad? It is the regrets over yesterday and the fear of tomorrow. Regret and fear are twin thieves who rob us of today.

So stop pacing the aisles and counting the miles. Instead, climb more mountains, eat more ice cream, go barefoot more often, swim more rives, watch more sunsets, laugh more, cry less. Life must be lived as we go along. The STATION will come soon enough! Soooooo tonight I am going out to dinner with the sweet Panniers and I am going live, laugh and eat gobs of spaghetti and hot bread at the Spaghetti Factory, (my favorite.) Sherrie stayed all night last night which is always a favorite thing..........

MY ANGELS

Have you ever thanked some one by saying "Thanks, your an angel?" I have many times and I truly believe other people who are put into our lives are truly angels in disguise. "Whether you have seen angels floating around your rooms or just found a ray of hope at a lonely moment--choosing to believe that something unseen is caring for you can be a life-shifting exercise". How do you raise children without the faith in a guardian angel to be with them when you can't be, to keep them safe till they return safely home to you. Think about the following: List some people in your life that have made an impression on you. Did anything improbable happen to bring you together with these people? Recall an experience that dramatically changed your life; a chance meeting, an accident, a medical miracle. Did any unusual events enable you to have and survive these experiences? In your career and/or your role as a parent, did help ever arrive improbably just when you needed it? Did you ever get an unexpected answer to a prayer? Is there something maybe out there besides mere coincidence? The word here is "MAYBE". I had an angel reading and was told the names of the angels who were always with me and waiting for me to ask for their help. Raquel (M) is for my well being. Jophiel (F) organization. Chamuel (M) Purpose. Arid, Finanaces.

Guardian angels Dominic for protection and Angelina for compassion. Arch angels Michael and St Christopher. Such a nice feeling to have this help to get through the trials of every day. Believe or not believe........your choice.

MAPPING FEAR

Think how many wake up in the morning with a hundred things they could be afraid of, they say one picture is worth a million words. When I look at this picture I wonder if the kitty is afraid or if he just says, "face your fears and do it anyway."

There is plenty of frightening stuff going on in the world today, diseases, revolutions, natural disasters, nuclear accidents, poverty, loss of jobs and homes and on and on. It makes sense that we'd all walk around with some level of fear in our daily lives. But who among us is most afraid and why? The old people because of health, the middle age group fighting for their jobs and homes, the young people starting families and hunting jobs? Not just us in America have fears. Daniel Treisman, UCLA political scientist, did a survey in the world. European nations fear a nuclear war, epidemics. Greeks for instance worry about spread of weapons of mass destruction, new viruses and war. Terrorists and government upheaval is a worry in many parts of the world. Famine and disease are more of a worry in some parts of the world than others. No, no one is free from some kind of worry. A recent experience of authoritarian rule also appears to increase fear, And belief in heaven (less fear) and hell (more fear) might play a role too. I find no matter how fearful you are of whatever each day brings you, you trade your fears with anyone else out there. "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond to it."

LIFE IS AN ENDLESS SERIES OF CHOICES

Our life is just like a labyrinth, we pick and choose each day which turn to take us to what is right for us. I love the following thought: "In oneself lies the whole world and if you know how to look and learn then the door is there and the key is in your hand. Nobody on earth can give you either the key or the door to open except yourself." Life is an endless series of choices from the tiny to the momentous and are all based, consciously or sub-consciously, on what you value. Your values are what are important to you, the rules you live by. Generally your actions reflect your values. They are the outward symbols of your inner voice. People who lead the most fulfilling and satisfying lives are those who take responsibility for directing their changes. When you direct your own changes, you are more likely to get what you want from life, you don't wait around for someone else to make your life better. From about 24 to 54 I didn't realize all this, but thank goodness circumstances changed and found the key and the door and happiness! Today my sweet Karrie drove me to my eye appointment so they could dilate my eyes. The news I expected was, you need to do something about the cataracts. Soooooo, I guess after I get back from a little trip I have coming up in May I won't put it off any longer. It has been hours and my eyes are still very dilated, things a little blurry. Sherrie in and met for a quick lunch yesterday. Pam starts a new job at the Law School at the U today, tomorrow my class at the Senior Center and Scottie's program, Friday I'm taking in my Income Tax........and another week has flown by! It snowed this morning but the sun is shinning tonight.

SO MUCH SAD NEWS

I love this picture of President Obama and Speaker of the House John Boehner as each struggle for power in our country. Not only shooting daggers into each other's eyes but wanting to stab each other in the back with a great big knife. Our poor world is falling apart one country at a time, physically in some areas but ours is a mental struggle with inept people. No jobs, no homes, high gas prices, high food prices, high medicine or no affordable health care at all. My heart goes out to my grandchildren and what kind of world they are inheriting. First earthquakes in Haiti, New Zealand, South America and now Japan with the added tsunami and break down of their atomic plant. Added on top of our war being raged in Afghanistan and now Libya. Yes, when I was young American was fighting the war in Europe and we had many shortages and lost many wonderful men. Then there was the Korean war, same story for us. America has been strong and in the past had good presidents to lead us, but now I feel Obama is the bottom of the barrel in leadership. I know I don't have a lot of years left as I am turning 79 next month, but I am interested in seeing which of the guys above leads us or sinks us. I think I need to get out of the house today and do some retail therapy or a good movie to cheer me up!!!!!

TAX TIME

Tax time can ruin your days or you can say "Suck it up Cupcake and get it done" People like my sister, who always get something back, do their taxes in February. My effecient kids get theirs done in March and I usually wait a week before they are due, BUT, this year I am working on them in the middle of April, can you believe it? My dinning room table is covered with faithfully kept receipts of all kinds, the chore is to sort them and decided what I need to keep and what I can shred! Truthfully I'd like to light a match to the whole table.........money back or not.....but I know better after 25 years of having to get my own taxes done each year. When my kids ask,"Is there anything we can do for you?" Why don't I say," Yep, come get these taxes done for me." But I can't do that I guess.

A GOOD DAY

Today is St. Patrick's Day and the Panniers 32nd wedding anniversary! They have given me three wonderful grandchildren and many happy memories. I wish them at least another 50............She has beat her parents marriage by two years!

I must dig out my green sweater I guess and celebrate this St Patrick's Day. St Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland is one of Christianity's most widely known figures, but for all his celebrity, his life remains somewhat a mystery. There are many stories about him passed on thru the ages, mostly false even the ones about him banishing all the snakes from Ireland.. St Patrick's Day has been celebrated as a holiday over 1000 years. Why green, why shamrocks and why leprechauns? To the early Celts the shamrock was a sacred plant in ancient Ireland because it symbolized the rebirth of spring. The Irish wore one as a symbol of their pride in their heritage. The big meal corn beef and cabbage was initiated in New York by the Irish in our country who put a cheaper, corn beef, with their favorite cabbage because it was cheaper than the expensive bacon originally used. The cheerful, friendly leprechaun is a purely American

invention which was quickly evolved into a symbol of St. Patrick's Day and Ireland. I spent a week driving on the wrong side of the road in Ireland and loved the country and customs. The bogs, the Waterford Crystal factory and of our group I was the only one to "Kiss the Blarney Stone" and got a certificate for it! Must admit it wasn't easy, you laid on your back with someone holding your feet and was dangled over the edge to "the stone" in this old castle. When I was younger I was determined to do it ALL.........I loved their fisherman knit sweaters, still have mine! Happy St. Patrick's Day!

JUST THINK

"Your not here by chance, but by Gods choosing.

His hand formed you and made you the person you are.

He compares you to no one else, you are one of a kind.

You lack nothing that his grace can't give you.

He has allowed you to be here at this time in history to fulfill

His special purpose for this generation."

Each one of us was born with different temperaments, different fingerprints, different gifts and abilities. Even my identical twin girls have different finger prints, ear lobes, foot prints etc.

"Like the sun, the moon and stars, God has created us to be different from one another, he has done it for a purpose" Each of us meets a need to fill God's over all plan. When we try to be like others, we lose ourselves. We should be free to accept and love ourselves and without feeling pressure to compare or compete. Some interesting thoughts "Look at mistakes as stepping stones toward success. Thomas Edison was asked, "How many times did you fail until you invented the electric light bulb?" And he answered: "I never failed but learned nine hundred times not to do something until I found the right answer." We must try hard to keep trying harder. You need to omit can't and should from your vocabulary. Can't is negative and reflects a defeatists attitude; and Should is authoritative and demanding of a person. Would and Could are much more positive.

We don't always know what God's plans are for us. We just know that his ways are not our ways but his ways are always best. Enjoying my class in Mind, Body Healing. Met Pam for lunch before class.

CIRCLE OF CARING

I love Jenkin Lloyd Jones metaphor of life, "Life is like an old-time rail journey......delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The truth is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride." I say the longer the ride, the better, yes, maybe more smoke, cinders and side tracks but more joys in families, grandchildren, friends and travel.

Everyone ends up on this ride, no one can get from here to there over the years without hitching a ride, but we have the choice to take it in our stride and find happiness and joy and many hours of it.......or not! This ride through life leads to a shift in our world from "A world of doing" to "A world of being" and once we master this we enter old age. This is where change begins. Zip along through my 30s, 40s and then into my 50s things began to change. A divorce caused many changes in relationships but also as we get older and slow down once strong and intense relationships sort of drift away. By the time we get in our 70s I think we begin to move toward a much smaller circle of caring. We get tired more easily, we find traveling difficult, we go to bed earlier. I am pushing 80 and find my circle of caring is even more narrow. As we move toward death there is kind of stripping away of non-essentials, both things and people, a kind of psychic readiness for the ultimate aloneness of death. It is not tragic or neurotic behavior, but rather the beginning of readiness to move out of the here and now and into a reality beyond understanding. The closing circle of caring means that ones goodbyes will be those who always remain the most significant, children, grandchildren, perhaps a sibling or an old Friend. We are learning to live with loss by closing the circle of caring.(Eda LeShan)

Having dinner and a movie with Mike and Andrea tonight. Patty over yesterday for coffee, I do keep busy!

OH SO LITTLE TIME......

This clock hangs in my kitchen and I have adopted it's words of "WhatEver!" to live by. It's early, it's late, I'm early, I'm late.........oh, whatever? Life goes on and so do the minutes of your life.

There is so much attention and energy being spent on time now days......and time is very important because "Time is the way we measure our Lives." As each day ends and we finally snuggle down for a few winks, perhaps even before the prayers......we arrange and rearrange our time schedule for the next day. We start chopping our day into hours, our hours into half hours and our 1/2 hours into minutes. I have always felt that is good....to me it is called "Organized", but that is just my way of using the hours and minutes of the day. I am also a huge list maker to keep track of what I have to do each day. This is not right or wrong.....good or bad.....it just is. Most of my life has been go, go, go and don't waste time. I now see this reflected in my children and how they use their time. I wonder who is going to remember if my house was clean or the laundry done a hundred.....fifty.....even twenty years from now. I will never look back on my life and feel I wasted it, that is for sure, but did I get the most out of those precious hours and minutes? No! I wish I had spent more time with my parents while they were alive. I wish I had spent more time with my children when they were small, one on one with paper dolls and books. I wish I had spent more time with Friends, to share a laugh or a tear. I wish I had spent more time enjoying my yard and flowers and perhaps my puppies. I wish I had enjoyed the scenery and weather and more time thanking God for all I had. Yes, TODAY I am still making lists but look at my clock and think "WhatEver" and just enjoy the hours and minutes I have left in life. Today is finally a beautiful sunny day spring is getting closer. Yesterday had a fun lunch with my twins and Kennedy, Sherrie pops in and out so our time together is precious.

BEEN GRANDMAING

Had a busy weekend trying to keep up with my youngest grandson while his parents went to Las Vegas for a LaCross tournament. Movie and dinner one day, then he was off to a birthday party and a two hour play date with a friend the next and the third day we planned to do a pizza place that no longer is, so went to IHop and ate and ended up at the Nickel Arcade, he is just like the pink bunny that keeps goin and goin and goin! I just realized the withdrawal feelings I am having is I hadn't been in a store to shop for a week. "Ours not to reason why, Ours but to find and buy".....we can't help it. It's the fault of our ancestors! Our hunter/gatherer ancestors, who survived by collecting pelts, sticks for fires, fibers, hunks of peat or whatever was available to make their caves more comfortable. They collected shells, stones and animal teeth and bird feathers to make decorations for their bodies. I'm sorry but our brains have never got past these impulses. When we are bored or upset some people eat, some of us turn to retail therapy. Ask yourself are you a pack rat? a minimalist? A cracker jack organizer? Or a master of disaster? Your possessions say a lot about who you are. My home is filled with clutter that is in my mind, the poetry of my life. It is filled with the fingerprints of my experiences. These "things" give shape to who I am. They reveal the magic moments in my life with my children, grandchildren, Friends and worldly travels. In a metaphor it is like turning the pages of my family album or scrapbook that melds the years in the past and present opening the doors to the world and showing people what I call living. So I say, "shop till you drop" it really is good therapy.............

STUFF

I think I have Spring Fever........I decided to reclaim my office and have been cleaning for two days. I finally finished my three daughters a scrap book and gave them out for Valentine's Day, was aiming for Thanksgiving, didn't happen. I was aiming for Christmas, didn't happen, so finally last month, in the process I had dug out reams of papers and pictures and keep sakes and just left them. So now the next project is go through the pictures and put them into families books, just so much stuff to sort through. Once you start cleaning you find stuff in the closet, stuff in drawers, stuff in the basement. I sort the good stuff from the bad stuff, then I stuff the bad stuff somewhere I can find an empty spot until I decide if I will want the bad stuff later.

When I die my daughters will want the good stuff, but the bad stuff, stuffed wherever there is room among all the other stuff will be stuffed in bags and taken to the dump where other people's stuff has been taken. My grand daughter moved out and left me with another big closet. I couldn't leave it empty so now I have a place for the stuff too good to throw away and too bad to keep with my good stuff. I wonder if you have the same problem I have with stuff.....food stuff, cleaning stuff, medicine stuff, clothes stuff and outside stuff. I can't imagine my life without all this stuff! Now, there is all the stuff we use to make us smell good, to make our hair look good, to make us look younger, stuff to make us look healthier, stuff to hold us in, stuff to fill us out. And there is stuff to read, stuff to play with, stuff to entertain us and stuff to eat. Yes our lives are filled with stuff....good stuff, bad stuff, little stuff, big stuff, useful stuff, junky stuff and every one's stuff. I wonder when I die what will happen to all my "Wonderful Stuff" but I guess it really won't matter. I will still have the good stuff that God prepared for me in heaven...........Maybe they don't wear shoes in heaven anyway. I'm spending the weekend with my youngest grandson, we have big plans.....................

COMMITTED?

What a beautiful first day of spring and I got to spend it with my little sister which made it even nicer. We spent the day catching up and just being there for each other. She has lost 56 pounds and looks and feels great. We reminisced about our life and growing older.

"How committed are you to growing and becoming.......not just aging?"

Growing and becoming are two aspects and secrets of being ageless. Growing mentally, emotionally and spiritually to becoming the great person you were meant to be at this time of your life. We both agree this is important, of course I am 11 years older than she is ........I know old.

Committing may mean you have to change your attitude about what is possible for you to move forward. If I make this commitment I know I have to learn to enjoy who I am now, no matter the age. As I age I notice I hurt in more places and it does take longer to do just about everything. I am interested, concerned, connected, inquisitive about what is on TV and in the paper every day. They say be wonder--ful and Awe--some each day you live this will keep you alive every day you live. Our perception is our reality, if we have a poor attitude and believe that life is awful, we will not find joy and peace in our life at any age. Sooooo here's to today and hopefully many more to come. I AM at peace with the universe.

"To accomplish great things, we must live as if we're never going to die" Luc de Clapieis