The sooner you learn this......the sooner you are in control of your life. When you are young of course your parents tell you what is best for you.....you don't argue....you accept it. Teachers, church officials, friends are all there with their view of your life and what is best......then you get married and usually your mate starts dictating to you.......it is so nice when you finally come to that place in your life when you start deciding what YOU want to do in life. I am at that place and my sweet family humor me and let me do what I want!......who knows how long this will last?
"We are often so distracted by the internal war between what we want to do and what we have to do that we overlook what we need to do. Not need in the sense of obligation to others, but in the sense of a compulsion to preserve our own sanity. When doing what others think we should do comes into direct conflict with what our heads or hearts demand, it is time to choose whether our top priority is to please others or to please ourselves."
I have a friend whose daughter thinks she should sell her home and move into a condo.......she does not want to sell her home and move. In my family there was a situation where the couple decided they should sell their home and build a new one......some of their children could not understand why on earth they would even consider a move. They felt the need was there and went with that need. So each of us has to decide what that need is.
The last day of September......where does the time go?
Thank
Sunday night and time to email my missionaries......One in Brazil and one in Mexico.......so far away from their families. I am so thankful for emails and the chance to hear from these precious boys once a week......to know if they are well or hungry? We seem to go through their trials and tribulations, so many miles away, but every week anxious to hear what is new in their part of the world. I have been to Brazil and to Mexico many times. They are both having such a great experience Rich in the picture on top under the volcano and Alex with the little girls he baptized.
Sherrie and Julie had more fun than anyone at the wedding.......with their sale item dresses and head bands and Sherrie had a banner that said brides maid and in back favorite aunt!!!! They did the big run as I sat it out tending the coffee and water........in the back ground with my orange shirt and head band! We all got a medal for participation with Nicci and Bill and run to the wedding and date on the back, a fun momentum. I thought about running but have taken "run', "jump" "hop" and "skip" out of my vocabulary.......Well, my heart was in it and that is all that counts.
So much fun and so proud of the Pannier family......Yes, the bride was beautiful......but so was her big sister who was a bridesmaid......and fun husband Scott, an usher. Tiffany looked beautiful! Also Pam a happy mother of the bride with a beautiful dress. I love weddings and each one is special in it's own way. You just pray they live happily ever after.
I love PINTEREST.......as do most of my family. Thumbing through the ideas and recipes of many is great. It is like going shopping on line. Sure, shopping is fun----and science knows why; Studies show finding something we want stimulates the brain region associated with rewards and desire, and promotes the release of the happiness hormone dopamine. The best part? You don't have to spend any money or even leave your home to benefit! Just browse online for an instant bliss boost! I am not much of a on-liner I prefer to look and touch......I can say five hours in the million dollar mall in Minneapolis had my dopamine hormones racing on high!
The wedding chapel....Pam, Me, Sherrie, Julie, Don & Toni seated!
In three and a half days my Nicci will become Mrs Trovinger.......Pam and Rob are leaving this after noon for Minneapolis, Sherrie and I in the morning and the rest of the crew after work tomorrow. I hope she is ready for her 'RED NECK' relatives from Utah. A full schedule is planned.......Open House in their new home Thursday night, Sher and I off to the Million Dollar Mall all day Friday and Friday night the rehearsal dinner, a 5 K run Saturday morning.......or not.......maybe the 1 K walk, Wedding that evening with a sit down dinner and dancing and home Sunday......Oh yes, weddings are fun.
Once ....when I was experiencing a difficult time in my life.....a dear friend, who was also a bishop told me........."Betty the higher you climb the lower he will sink"......I have always remembered that and when things get bad, I see myself going up, up, up a circular staircase.....I am not sure where it will lead me, but hopefully to GOD. In a magic way it is drawing me up to above the problem a person or thing is causing me.
Sunny Sunday.....Rained off and on yesterday but today is nice. Pam and I walked over to the pool and exercised an hour......feels so good. To bad we only have a week or two left to swim before Annette closes the pool.
When we embark on life we never know for sure where the road will take us. When I graduated from high school at 18 I realized there were many roads ahead and mountains and valleys......it is confusing when you have been use to your parents pretty much picking the roads you have been traveling. All you can do is take it day by day. Many do not realize the four letter "F" word is very insidious because unbeknown to you, it could be the motivation behind a shockingly high percentage of the life choices you make......that "F" word is FEAR!
YES, it isn't hard for me to find something to worry about......like the rumor that chocolate makes your clothes shrink!......or is it a rumor? What do you worry about? I also worry I will spend my golden years broke and living under a bridge, that the big black mole on my boob may be cancer......if though I have had it checked, I worry about climate change and what the world will be like for my grandchildren. I worry because I can't remember some one's name or the name of a book I want to read. It seems we are wired to pay attention to scary thing. The #1 function of our brain is to keep us alive. We worry as a way to anticipate possible dangers and problem....solve our way through them. Our vigilant ancestors survived because of this. We are good at worrying and don't know how to turn it off sometimes.
Found this on face book this morning and feel I need to remember it always and pass it on.
Twelve years ago 19 heartless terrorists left 2,996 families sorrowfully mourning. Twelve years ago those terrorists left 343 firefighters and paramedics and families lives changed forever. At 8:45 the wonderful skyline of NYC was changed forever---the beautiful twin towers 1,776 feet high gone forever.....as the terrorist flew their high jacked planes through them! So sad.....that moment is written on the hearts of everyone in America....We will never forget it!
After being married 30 years, I suddenly found myself single at 54. Dating generated a lot of funny stories but wasn't actually all that much fun. More fun was everything else in life. I moved into a fun condo, in a nice neighborhood with my three daughters and their families close by. I had great friends and a very supportive family........and a cuddly 4 legged roommate. So why would I want to re-partner, when I was already a lot happier than I'd been most of the time I was married to an airline pilot......who was gone 3/4 of the month. Could singlehood be, rather than a state of emergency or a problem that had to be solved, a positive life choice? Is a single person always the unmatched half of something or could I be complete as is? Yes, being odd man out at first was hard, but soon I was choosing to go out with other ladies in my boat. People are shocked to hear that over half the people talked to were content with their singlehood. A few single people have given the rest of us the bad name of "single people are unhappy by definition......and older people are the most miserable". Not true, my friends and I (all elderly), are more likely to be content as single people. Marriage later in life seems to be for a nurse and a purse!!!! When author Klinenberg wrote "Going Solo" he planned to write how difficult it was for older people to be alone in America, but his research was completely the opposite......"Not only did most older people living alone want to live alone, they were more likely than those in couples to be social, or likely to go out to cafes, plays and card parties. They were not single out of desperation but because of a desire of integrity and independence." I have been so happy these past 27 years being independent, managing my own finances and decisions, devoting all the time I want to my children, travel and friends.....even a casual relationship would put pressure on you? No more "Can I pound a nail here?"....."What do you want for dinner?"......"Can we afford it?".....No, life is what it is......GREAT at 81 and single.
The time is getting closer when I am going to be forced to be nice......or not...... to the person who ruined my marriage. My X, his significant other and I are headed for a granddaughter's wedding in Minnesota. They could even be on the same airplane there!!!! There will be the open house on Thursday night, Rehearsal dinner Friday and the Wedding Saturday......there is no way I can avoid her or ignore her.....or not....the whole time. We have never said a word in the last 27 years since it all happened. She has taken the hint and not showed up at the girls weddings, farewells, eagle scout awards etc......but I am determined.....for my children's sake..... to be the lady I have tried to teach them to be in these kinds of situations.......Bottom line: My X and I are not friends, we are not enemies, we are two strangers with the same memories of 30 years together. So I am praying every night for the strength to get through this and still enjoy it and make it happy for everyone else!
After you blow up at someone sometimes you regret it, but being angry hurts no one but you.....Venting to someone----a good friend, acquaintance or even a co-worker---not only helps make the problem seem less daunting, it sometimes strengthens your relationship with that person. Thank goodness I have several very good friends who listen patiently as I rant and rave about something that makes me angry......and I also listen to their complaints. In fact, getting so upset that you actually swear can draw you closer because it shows you're comfortable enough with the other person to let your guard down! You don't judge someone by a few swear words. I guess the bonus of venting when you're angry or frustrated reduces physical pain! You yell and holler and swear a little, then your blood pressure goes back down and you move on. Maybe that is why I am so healthy????
Just stepping outside to........ "MY SECRET GARDEN"....... can make you feel peaceful and quiet. I live in a condo, so don't have room for one of those big gardens with wandering paths, past ponds of gold fish, beautiful statues and beautiful exotic plants, trees and shrubs.....with little benches to rest on here and there......maybe in my next life. No, I have made my patio into my secret little garden. Bright furniture, with a carpet, pillows, many pots filled with flowering plants. Three tall shrubs that help to give me the privacy and enclosure from the outside world. In the corner is a water fountain.....every garden needs some water. A tall statue of a girl my sister gave me .....I call her my garden angle as my sister has since passed away. The aroma of the plants and spices there add their magic. Hanging in full view is a wind chime I brought back from the gardens in Canada and my humming bird feeder. Those little birds are so entertaining as they fight for their turn at the feeder. With a cold drink, a good book or my knitting I can open the door.....it happens to be a screen door..... into my own little world away from the TV news of all the sick things President Obama is piling on us, Ben Gazi, Syria, 'Obeymecare', taxes and on and on! I am not young or old.....but just me, when I am out there. Now I know to some this might not be considered a garden as we think of it, but every one can make their own little nook of escape to privacy. I have a beautiful Mexican fountain I brought back from Puerto Panasco, I put pretty pots of plants around it with little statues......and I have a small garden inside for winter days. I had a fun gold fish for many years that out grew several bowls......but "Arnold' died awhile back. Make your own special place......"Or grow where your planted"!
As I was growing up during WWII I just figured Kilroy was part of the war. "Kilroy was written on everything."....not only in the US, but around the world. He is so famous that he is engraved in the National War Memorial in Washington DC, in a small alcove. From the WWII generation he brings back many memories. Younger folks .....those born after 1950 may not remember.
I love it when you get up in the morning knowing today will be a good day........I just tell myself that every morning.......As you get older, you find out that true happiness is not in how much money you make or how many degrees you have. or how big your house is, or how fancy your car is. It's finding peace and joy and a calmness in your life that becomes the most important thing to you. Your family is what matters to you. Love is what matters to you, things that are quality not quantity.
Every morning you have to think ......now today will be better than yesterday.....even though yesterday was good. Yesterday was Labor Day and I went out to eat and to a movie with Karrie, Rich and Scott. Seems I wake up and it is either Monday or Friday, the in-between just seems to slide by with to-do lists. Now this morning my week starts out with Mail my first of the month bills, buy stamps. Go to the bank and then Smiths to pick up a prescription. Drop off my HOAC dues and leave Annette a note to have Jose look at my sprinklers. Go to Walmart for a list of things. Check on a new bank and call Nicole at Merrill Lynch. Now if I woke up rich.......I would have my secretary to do all this for me....BUT ......what would I do all day? No, I guess I don 't want to wake up rich and turn into a vegetable, it is good to stay busy and on a budget? 
If I gave my kids a test could they tell me what all these pictures from my past are? Maybe my kids could but I doubt the grandchildren could......Those who were born in the 50's--60's---70's and 80's are the last generation who played in the street! During our childhood we "walked" over a mile a day when we played "hide and seek"... outside at night with no worries or fear of anything bad happening to us. We loved the night games which also included " kick the can." We are the first generation who played video games and the last to record songs off the radio onto a cassette tape. We learned to program a VCR before anyone else, were the first to play from Atari to Nintendo. We were the generation of Tom and Jerry, Looney Tunes and Captain Kangaroo....We traveled in cars without seat belts, or air bags, lived without cell phones and caller ID. Can you even imagine a household in the US today without a cell phone or two or three???? And how nice it was to talk to someone on the phone rather than getting a few words of text on a cell phone? We did not have fax machines, flat screens, surround sound, I pads, Facebook, Twitter, computers or Internet and through it all we had a really good time! Popping pop corn on the stove, piling records on the turn table and hanging clothes out on the line every week, especially when it was so cold they froze solid in minutes were part of my life. Yep, I guess I grew up in the dark ages and feel completely normal....I just don't want to ever forget how far I have come.
