TOURIST SEASON & BEDBUGS......

Today we enjoy the last day of May 2013.......Tomorrow with most schools out everyone starts planning their summer vacation. I have had so many wonderful vacations around the world seeing and meeting many wonderful and interesting people.  The two pictured are a tribe in  Chiang Ria Thailand.  I have visited their village and had a picture taken with them......even the oldest one here.  You really have to see it to believe it to believe it.
In my quest to visit 100 countries by the time I was 70.....and I did......I slept around a lot!! I shudder to even remember some of those beds I slept in and never a thought about checking for "bed partners"......"BEDBUGS".  in any of them. Egypt, India, Ecuador, Slovakia, Indonesia, Malaysia, Mexico, China and all over Europe.  Now days Bed Bugs are something to worry about. It's become a rite of summer, the teary tales of vacations ruined, the zooms on the tiny red weltes, and the info graphic of the life cycle of the tiny invaders. You can easily bring these hitch-hikers home from your travelers. They get into your clothes when you sleep or leave your clothes or luggage on an infested bed......then when you get home you lay your luggage on your bed to unpack they set up home in your bed?  Of course, there are a lot of IFs in there. To be safe check the mattress and behind the headboard of your hotel room. Many times you don't even know you are bitten. Sad news insects can pop up just about anywhere, hotels, apartments, churches, hospitals, Laundromats, movie theaters and offices right in your neighborhood.  Bottom line I guess is you just can't escape the chance of encountering  them so just go on living and ignore all the hype on TV. Have a fun summer and enjoy your vacations........

ONE OF THOSE DAYS.....

Do you ever have one of those days when it is just an effort to get out of bed?  Today was one of those and I had to because the Comcast man was coming at 8:00......or not!  I got dressed, but no make up or fancy stuff.....just up.  Well almost two hours later he found water in one of the cable lines and I am back on line with no problems.  I really have the urge to just run up to Walmart and get a few things and I don't think anyone would even notice my wild hair, wrinkles with no make-up or mismatched clothes and no shower.  I would probably just fit in!!!!

I want to quote Tony Robbins one of my favorite authors that I agree with totally. "Live life fully while you're here.  Experience everything.  Take care of yourself and your friends.  Have fun, be crazy, be weird.  Go out and screw up! You're going to anyway, so you might ad well enjoy the process.  Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes; Find the cause of your problem and eliminate it.  Don't try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human!"

I feel Walmart demonstrates it loves crazy, weird people that don't worry about impressing anyone !!!!Many feel "here I am you lucky people, just take my money and make me welcome?.....and that is what Frank, the Walmart greeter is for.

If you happen to run into me at Walmart looking like the picture above......just walk on by!

BUCKET LIST OF WORRIES......

Yes, I worry I will become like Don Quote.......off fighting windmills. We do live in a world with a heavy coat of negativity in it. My list of worries is long.  I worry about the bed bugs when I travel, The world will wake up some day and we will have cute all the trees.  They are killing all the elephants off  for their ivory tusks, you name it and I will worry about it.  Does worry come with old age???? Maybe worrying about things like that doesn't give me time to worry about me.

Today at bridge everyone was talking about their summer plans, trips here and there. A few years ago I was one of those amazing people visiting fascinating places and doing astonishing things.  We started comparing the wild and weird foods we had all been brave enough to sample.....or dared to eat. Oh yes, those were the good old days, but I am now ready to hang up my "DunnRovin" sign. It has been nice to ......have been there done that......and I have many wonderful memories of my travels around the world.  Yes, when I got home from an adventure some where in the world, I would be very happy to see my children and dog and sleep in my own bed.  As I unpacked my dirty clothes and treasures, so many feelings flooded my mind.  I usually already had my next trip planned and just kept the suitcase handy.  Last year it was four cruises and a week in Cancun, Mexico......wow! I guess I can just sit home and find something to worry about and leaving the traveling to the girls in the bridge club.

MEMORIAL DAY OR LABOR DAY????

Happy Memorial Day.....I remember when I was growing up we always went to the cemetery up on the hill with my mother.  Mother loved going up and putting flowers on her parents, her great-grandfather, numerous aunts, uncles etc.  She would get big bouquets of lilacs and white snow balls or anything in bloom. She also loved to visit with everyone who came to remember their relatives at this time.  When your young,,,,,,you really don't get it,.....but with time.....you do!
I went to Idaho with Pam and her family and it seemed more like "labor day" than "memorial day."  Rob was putting together a pergola and had ordered dirt and grass to go around the cabin.....well he put the kids to work and you ought to see how beautiful it looks.  Nothing like green grass to cover dirt and rocks......now he has to water and mow! The first morning we ate breakfast on the back porch in the warm sunshine, but as the day passed it cooled off and the next  day was cloudy and cool. Will took his new puppy......now I remember how much work a new puppy is, her favorite thing was digging in the big dirt piles!  Nice little get-away.
We had the biggest thunder and lightening storm I can remember in a long time this afternoon.  Gigi does not like thunder and it just would not stop.  The sun is trying to shine today.  Doing laundry and cleaning today.

TOM0RROW.......

To-mor-row...(noun) "The best time to do everything you had planned to do today!" Well I guess this week is shot and if it isn't done is isn't going to be until next week.  This morning I followed Kar down to the car dealership to leave her car to be fixed and had a great morning hitting a couple of stores and stopped for lunch on the way home.  Just getting my suitcase out to pack for a weekend in Idaho and one of my best friends called ......'Is the coffee pot on?'  This poor gal is over her head with a 98 year old mother she tends, a husband whose heart is 13% working, three grown kids and a granddaughter that lives with them that are always hungry, needs to go somewhere etc......she does not have a life!  So when she calls I drop everything and listen.....Tomorrow is a good time to do every thing that did not get done today.....or not!  I did the important things and had a great day.

Tomorrow off to Idaho for the weekend. Hope the snow is gone.  Also, was informed I have a new four legged great-grandchild.  A part husky part malamute named Aspen......Will's new baby.  Have a nice Memorial Day........

GONE, BUT NOT FORGOTTEN!

What a great picture!  Gone.....but not forgotten! "Don't be sad its over, just be glad it happened."  They say everyone comes into your life to teach you something, I think that is also true of the animals that come into our lives.  This is Rob's dog, and Will's and Pam's and the girls.  He was in the family for many years.  He seemed to take a back seat to Annie the other duck dog until Annie went to doggie heaven, then Drake stepped up.  He also filled the hole that Charles left in December when Charles......went to doggie heaven! He loved being the only child of the family until they......yes, they went out and got baby Bree.  He absolutely ignored her as long as he could and when he figured out she wasn't going away he settled in as a baby sitter, letting her hang on his tail and sleep with him. They found he was full of cancer and they didn't want him to suffer, so it was a sad day when they said good-bye to him this week.

For awhile he wasn't my favorite dog......but I have forgiven him and will miss him.  In March when Pam and Rob went on a cruise to celebrate their anniversary and Will was on Spring Break, Drake and Bree were left with Grammie.....because I wouldn't let him sleep with me ......my dog doesn't even sleep with me.......he barked all night.  He didn't like being gated in the hall and barked ALL night for four nights before William got home and came for him.  One night he got into the office where he ate about 15 little brown sacks, from a Christmas party, filled with gummy bears, cracker-jacks, liquorice, peanut brittle, nuts, chocolate bars and you name it. The room looked like a tornado had hit it. Pam said yes he had a sweet tooth and found all her special chocolate candy she hid in her bedroom one day!!!!! Well, he didn't even throw up or have diarrhea. The third night in desperation I locked him in the basement in that bathroom.....well he pooped all over it the first night.  As you can see, I did have a reason for not being too fond of him and swearing to never baby sit him again. But I am sad he is gone and for the family.

Off to get Gigi groomed and do a few chores.  Won at bridge last night!

NO REGRETS......

"The first to apologize......is the bravest.  The first to forgive.....is the strongest.  The first to forgive.....is the happiest."

When ask why you don't have any tattoos.....tell them "Do you see a Ferrari with bumper stickers?"

"Worry is like a rocking chair.  It gives you something to do, but doesn't get you anywhere!"

Funny how someone else sayings give you something serious to think about.  When something goes wrong in our lives, it's easy to feel like we're alone in our shortcomings. This is an irrational psychological level of thinking and leave us feeling isolated at the time we most need to feel connected to other people.  One of the big lessons I learned when I was taking my NLP course was how to reframe bad things to good things. By reframing things gone wrong into the context of shared human experience, we can tap into the feeling that we're all in this together and use our interconnectedness as a source of strength.  I can only imagine a mother with a handicap child saying "why me?"..... look around......others may be in the same situation or worse, but everyone is going through something. Motherhood is universally difficult.  As soon as I remember struggles with children is part of the experience of being a mother, and we all accept that, this is just a part of life.  Others have gotten through it and we will also.  Be your own cheer-leader which will give yourself support makes you much less afraid of failure because if you try and fail, you won't beat yourself up so bad.

HOW IT ALL STARTED......

It was a good day and a bad day......but aren't they all?  Lived through my colonoscopy with pretty good news.  Got messages from both my missionaries and they are both doing good.....Rich had two baptisms last week and Alex got my package and was happy. But they had to put the Pannier's dog, Drake down, they discovered he had cancer.....it is never easy to lose an old faithful friend.
We are who we are because of who our parents were and their parents and on down the line.  Beginning with the language we speak!  Language is the code for understanding and communication between humans.  It was not our choice to speak English.  I didn't choose my religion or moral values.....they were already there before I was born.   When we were young we never had the opportunity to choose what to believe or what not to believe.  We didn't even choose our names......" When we start to believe it is called "faith"  To have faith is to believe unconditionally.  Children are domesticated like animals.....in order to teach a dog we punish the dog and we give it rewards.....we train our children whom we love so much kinda the same way.......only different.......  You can say "no" to someone and still love them, but you don't always get that when your young.  I was very lucky to be born into an English speaking family, with a religion I love, parents who taught me good moral values, chose a name I was OK with and taught me to have faith in people.  As for being trained like the dog, we didn't have a dog when I was going up, but can't complain about my training.......it was always done with lots of love and tender care.

WHAT'S ENABLE MEAN?

Every family goes through it..... disagreeing with others in the family.We all know what you do or how you act, you will get a consequence back from that.....good or bad is your choice by your decision. You can get mad and scream and accuse, but that doesn't change the consequence.  So what is the definition of "enable".....Webster says : "enable 1. To make able; to give (one) strength or authority sufficient for the purpose.  2. To make practicable or easy; as, steam and electricity enable rapid transit.  Sny. Enable, empower.  To enable is to provide with means of opportunity, to empower, to delegate power or authority to do something."  When someone accuses you of being an enabler of course it can be both good and bad.  If you are giving a drug addict money to buy drugs......that is bad!  But, when you reach out to help someone to better themselves or give them money or things that makes their lives better, easier or to move forward.....you are enabling for the good.  Some accusers should look at their lives!  Has anyone loaned or gave them money to buy a house, a car, helped with their food bills, medical bills, children's clothes or activities, education???? I bet no accuser can say, "no, I never received any help from the accused!"  Well, if I am enabler because I have helped someone along the way.....for the good....then so be it....... I AM AN ENABLER! How you treat me for this action is your choice and you will endure the consequences whether good or bad. Enablers are good and kind people and do it out the love of their hearts.....they realize they need to examine if it will benefit the person or not that they are enabling. Of course, if we are furthering people's bad habits that are endangering them.....we know that isn't good! Interestingly enough the people who accuse you of being judge-mental are the worst judgmental people out there? Ask yourself .....have I accepted anything that enabled me to move to the place I am now?  Have I perhaps enabled my children with help to move on? Come on be honest........Well like they say, the best thing about life is.......it goes on....don't have any regrets.

OH REALLY......

Don't complain to your doctor about being tired......I did and it lead to a EKG.....wearing a 24 hour heart monitor and having a stress test!!!  "If you have symptoms like fatigue, skin issues, weight gain, weight around the middle, trouble sleeping, always sleeping, PMS, endometriosis, infertility, PCOS, or other issues, chances are you have Harmon Imbalance??   Oh really?  All I complained about was just always being tired.....every time I passed the bed I just wanted to crawl back in. Then Monday a Colonoscopy....yea......I guess Tuesday will either be Good News or Bad News.
Karrie and Annie came over and we did a light go over  in the house digging things out for their coming garage sale. Some times I think the kids are afraid I will be on that TV show about "Hoarders".....and that would really embarrass them.  I was happy to donate....some things I forgot I even had.....and certainly didn't need any longer.  We did not have time to hit the closets for clothes and shoes, but I promised to get on that next.  Annie has been accepted to go to India next spring with YMAD (Youth Make a Difference)....but they have to help earn their own money as part of a learning lesson.  Richard went to the Philippines with the group and loved it.  I think my grandchildren have inherited my gypsy gene, they all love to travel! My Nicci has been to many countries, Alex went to Europe for three weeks with the Young Ambassadors.....Brayden went to Ghana to build desks for a new school for his Eagle Scout badge and Kennedy went to Mexico for his Eagle scout badge!  Yes!  Bought two cucumber plants today......that's my garden for the year......

EMBRACE YOURSELF......

"Whatever you are....be a good one."
"I am not bossy.....I just know what you should be doing!!"
"Just a matter of time before they add the world "Syndrome" after my last name?"
I love all the cute sayings that pop up everyday in your life.....they all give you something to think about.  Is there a critical voice in your head that keeps telling you how you could be better?  We are quick to take a casserole to an ailing neighbor or comfort a friend going through a painful divorce.  Yet, when something painful happens to us we brush it off. "As women, we're socialized to always offer kindness to others, not to ourselves." When we ignore our suffering, it doesn't disappear----the stress and worry only mount until we're overwhelmed and exhausted.  But since comforting ourselves does not come easily or naturally we have to make an effort to squeeze our own hand, pat our own backs or put your hand over your heart.....when you give yourself a kindness, it releases soothing hormones like oxytocin that calms your whole system.  In giving yourself permission to care for yourself, you'll gain the emotional resources you need to keep your heart open and give yourself some personal love and attention.  If I want flowers.....I buy myself some......I deserve them!  When I want to splurge on a special treat or something nice....I do it....I have to take care of me.  You ladies and girls out there....put yourself first sometimes.

WHICH ARE YOU?????

My Mother's Day was extended two more days......Pam took me to breakfast this morning. But, as I have said before when you have three wonderful daughters.....everyday is Mother's Day for me! Well, we broke a record yesterday, it was 93 degrees....... first time ever on the record for this time of year. A few more flowers to plant then sit back and enjoy my summer.
A grandmother's good advice to her grandchild who seemed to be faced with constant trials: Carrots, eggs or coffee....which are you?  Grandma quietly put three pots of water on the stove and turned up the heat.  In one pot she placed fresh carrots, second an egg and third ground coffee beans. Twenty minutes later she turned off the stove....fished out the carrots and put them in a bowl....another bowl the egg and the last bowl poured coffee.  "What do you see?" she ask the child. Carrots, egg and coffee came the answer.  Look closer.....carrots soft, crack egg was hard boiled.....taste and smell the aroma of the coffee.  "What's the point grandma the child ask?" 
The carrot went in strong, a little hot water caused it to get soft and weak.....The egg was fragile, the hard shell protected it's outside, but the inside became hardened in hot water.  However, after the coffee beans endured the hot water they changed the water. Are you a carrot, but with pain and adversity do you wilt and become soft and lose your strength? Are you an egg that starts out with a malleable heart, but change with heat? Do you have a fluid spirit but after a death, divorce, financial hardship have become harden and stiff. Still look the same on the outside....but inside bitter, though and harden heart.  OR a coffee bean?  Actually uses hot water as a challenge to not let pain change you....releases fragrance and flavor when things seem worst, you get better and change the situation around you  .Grandmother's  have a way of showing you what real life is all about.
When hours are darkest and trials are the greatest do we elevate to another level....or just give up?

IF ONLY........

Yesterday was a fun Mother's Day.....I talked to all three daughters and both my missionary grandsons.......Had a fun dinner and afternoon with one family.  It doesn't get any better than that.  Once a mother....always a mother.....and every day is Mother's Day for me!  I also thought about the wonderful Mother I had for a short 38 years.  She was such a good example for me in all she did and the kind of person she was.  Having a good mother in your life is one of the greatest blessings any child can have......Thank you God.

Then there is always the IF ONLYS in our lives.  I think it would be safe to say no one gets through life without a few IF ONLY.....IF ONLY I had done this or if only I had done that OR IF ONLY I hadn't done this or that!  IF ONLY can lead to all kinds of situations, most of them bad.  IF ONLY can fill your stomach with ulcers.....can give you high blood-pressure.....can take the zing out of your marriage.....depress you to the point of suicide!  You see, yesterday is gone forever and tomorrow may never come. Today is all you have, so hang in  there and do the best you can and at the end of the day you will be at the place of your choice instead of being haunted by IF ONLY, IF ONLY, IF ONLY!  You will find you sleep a lot better also.  Can't believe it is suppose to be 92 degrees today, of course the weather man has been wrong before!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY........

I may not be a "perfect mother".....but.....I am a  ""good mother.".....Having three beautiful daughters is the greatest blessing of my whole life.  I became a mother 55 years ago and learned a lot through those years.  I had a wonderful mother.....not perfect.....but wonderful mother.  Motherhood contains moments of joy, occasional complications and, too often, unexpected heart aches.We take many lessons from being a mother multifaceted,, unique and universal at the same time.  To be a mom, however the opportunity presents itself, is to have your capacity for love and connections tested and shaped forever. Through the years I watched several friends for different reasons did not want to go without sleep, did wet or thrown up on......and the many tasks little ones present or have their body change! BUT today any and all inconveniences of the past 55 years have been worth it to see what great Mom's I raised! Two of the great mother's are counting the hours until they can talk to their missionary in far away lands.  HAPPY MOTHER's day everyone.

WANTA BE A KID AGAIN?????

 Ahhh....to be a kid again!!!! When decisions were made by going 'eeny-meeny-miney-mo' a race issue meant arguing about who can run the fastest.  This is the day before 'Mother's Day' and for some reason all I can think of is when I was a kid.....I had this wonderful mother and father, three little sisters and a little brother......which most of the time I didn't claim!....I lived in the big white house with a white picket fence around it and two apple trees in the  front yard.....on the corner.  I knew everyone in town and knew I was loved.

It wasn't a bit odd to have more than one best friend, although everyone knew my best friend was Janet Brown.  Being old was anyone over 40, worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was 'cooties'.......whatever they were?  Having a weapon in school was a spit ball shooter....heaven forbid a sling shot.  Nobody was prettier than your Mom.  Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true.  A big shopping trip wasn't complete without Cracker Jacks or ice cream.  Scrapes and bruises where miraculously better from a kiss.  Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was a cause for giggles not an emergency room.  Baseball card in the spokes of your bike or trike transformed it into a motorcycle. Taking drugs meant aspirin, Castor oil or baking soda. There was no TV only radio so we played kick the can  under the  street light or baseball on the vacant lot across the street.  We swam in the river and ice skated on the sewer pond! Favorite games were marbles and jacks....... Guess what we all survived and were happy normal people!  Yes, life as children knew it many years ago has really changed and it is kinda sad.  The Cooks came over and fixed my hose in the garage so I can water all the flowers I just planted out front.  Beautiful day........with a lot of wonderful memories.

DECISIONS.......

The hardest thing to life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn.......Just remember what you do today does matter.....because tomorrow this day will be gone forever leaving in its place what I traded this day for!  I like this old story that illustrates those who hang in there are the ones that survive:  It seems that two frogs were playing on the rafters of a dairy farm one night and they fell into adjoining pails of cream.  Both frogs scrambled for survival, but one fought longer and harder, and stayed on course.  When the farmer came in the next morning, he found one frog floating on top of a pail of cream, dead; and the other frog standing on a cake of butter......exhausted, but happy to be alive.

MORAL: When we let problems overwhelm us, when we stop jumping and hopping and scrambling for survival, we stop living.  But when we hang in there and fight the good fight we end up on a cake of butter.

I remember this little story when I think "why try".....but then again I think "try again."  Finally looks like the weather is cooperating and I am going to plant flowers this weekend.  Pam came by with a mother's day gift and they were off to Idaho for the weekend.  Sherrie met Karrie and I in Midway yesterday and we spent several fun hours together. What would you do without your kids.......

WHAT'S YOUR STORY?

What a happy surprise to see your baby brother on face book when you haven't even talked to him since we were both at Dixie's funeral.  This is Jimmy Dick....Jim and Ace at her daughter's wedding put on face book by Jamie Yeomans, Jim's daughter. No one will ever know how happy I was to get a little brother when I was 14 and had three little sisters.  He grew up to be 6'4", a very big......little brother. I still love him very much, even though I will have to admit I could have killed him with my bare hands a couple of times.....Pam's wedding.....I know he loves me too.

There's a story behind everything, but behind all your stories is always your mother's story, because hers is where yours begins......and this is true with Jim and I.  I guess part of the reason I like Face book is the sharing of so many fun pictures of your family, that you would never enjoy otherwise.

When someone says "Life is hard"....ask them....."Compared to what?"

 

I'M FINE.......

I would love to put this message on the phone........

When someone asks me if I am fine I always answer "yes I am fine."........which could easily be: F.....fed up! I......insecure!  N.......neurotic!   E.....emotionally unstableAsk how I explain never remarrying, it is simple;  I will not be any man's half-time, down-time, spare-time, or sometimes.  So don't waste my time!  Don't stumble over things behind you.......is very good advice. Have you ever jumped to conclusion in anger----only to find out you were wrong.....I am sure everyone is guilty of it at some time in their lives.  The Prince Dog story is such a good example; There is an old Welsh story from the 13th century about a Prince who returned home to find his dog covered with blood, his baby boy missing and the cradle over turned.  In anger the prince pulled out his sword and killed his dog.  Shortly there after, he heard the cry of his son.....the baby was alive and by the infants side lay a dead wolf.  The dog had in reality, defended the Prince's baby from the wolf. Before you jump to conclusion about something or become judgemental remember this little story and get all the details so you won't BE SORRY.

MANAGING DOUBT.......

Every Monday morning I make a list of the things I need to do for the week.....if I'm lucky I get half of it done, but that is OK.   I wonder if it is God's plan to slow you down as you age because your body is wearing out.....I need to finish the laundry, do a little house work and get out in the yard on the weeds before I plant.  I am so anxious to plant flowers, it is getting warmer but suppose to rain most the week.  I could just go to a movie or shopping which I don't dare put on my to-do list!
A lot of life has to be taken on faith.  You could not have faith if you didn't have doubt. Whether it's in church, life or just personal relationships, the secret to balance is where you let your doubts take you.  There seems to be different levels of doubt.  Level one is the most relaxed level of doubt there is; no pressing questions.  God is in heaven and all things in your life, nation etc are secure. Level two is you have a shadow of a doubt....not necessarily about everything, but maybe about some thing important that used to be black and white but now is starting to look a little grey.  Level three; "OK, wait a minute"....doubt is starting to jell into something that needs to be researched. Level four "Things are starting to get really bad".  If you have doubt about one thing, why not doubt everything? Doubts starts translating into overt disobedience......Level five; "Everyone but me is in left field"......This stage represents complete meltdown and declaration of war. Doubting isn't bad.  It's actually healthy.  It can be educational, but it also can lead to destruction if you let it overtake your ability to have 'Faith'.  It is important to recognize where doubt is taking you so you can manage it rather than letting it manage you.

CINCO DE MAYO.......

Congratulations to Nicci and Bill.  They came to Salt Lake to watch William graduate from college.  They live in Minneapolis with Ollie.....he stayed home.  Tiffany, Sherrie and Karrie gave them a shower yesterday.  Those girls know how to give a party.  Fun decorations, a Taco bar and a cheese-cake bar. There were cousins from both sides and they got to see a lot of people in one afternoon.  They got a lot of nice gifts.....which Rob will be mailing to Minnesota.....as they wouldn't fit in the suitcases.  They are planning a September wedding in Minneapolis, so guess I will be traveling up there this fall.  Hope everyone had a happy Cinco de Mayo today..

graduation continued....

Oldest grandson graduates from college.....

Proud day in our family, my oldest grandson.......William Robert Pannier...... graduated from the University of Utah......in four years and even has a job to go into.  His sisters and I were there with his parents beaming proudly.  Went off to lunch but missed the dinner that night where they really celebrated.  Will and his girl friend Liz, who also graduated are off to Boston for a week to celebrate, then move into his own apartment and be a grown up!  I have a lot of fun memories and remember how excited I was to get a grandson.  Many swim meets, football games and baseball games are he grew up. Good luck and congratulations Will.

NO PAIN....NO GAIN.......

Just as I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.......

"Have you ever felt that even though you're taking things 'one day at a time'....it's about twenty-four hours more  than you can take?  Busy weekend ahead, tomorrow Will's graduation tomorrow and Saturday Nicci's wedding shower.

Each day you try and face the hurt in the world .....it touches you, but it doesn't.....but too many good and old friends are leaving my world now and I can only imagine their loved ones pain.  I have lost grandparents, parents, friends and a divorce  and gone through the pain that hits you so hard the ongoing pain plasters you to the ceiling.  Healing comes in stages:  FIRST, WE CHURN.....a process often compared to having your insides ground up in a meat grinder, or having a knife plunged into your chest.   SECOND, WE BURN.....as the shock wears away and the anger takes its place.  We may want to kill the person who walked out on us or hurt us or even be angry at the person who died leaving us alone. Our anger can be loud or silent.  THIRD, WE YEARN.....for things to change.  We go over and over the happy past, the good old days.  We know dwelling on the past is futile, but still do it anyway.  FOURTH, WE LEARN......a lot of things.  We learn what we are really made of.  We learn from others who become our support group. We discover we are in a process of long, slow growth.  We find our values are a real part of who we are, not something we'd like to be. FIFTH, WE TURN.......to God. We finally see that we can do a lot of thinking, feeling, and talking but only two words .....WHATEVER, LORD...... Things happen for a reason......just believe.  Goodbye to Maryann, Mr Rigby and Dixie Dillion.

 

DROP BY DROP......

MAY FIRST.......this is what this horse and I woke up to at seven this morning!  I could not believe it!  We had about an inch and it was cold enough that it was sticking on the ground until about noon.  I see where some people planted their tomato  and cucumber plants already and they were trying to brush them off.

Picked up my neighbor at the University Hospital after her colonoscopy, mailed my bills, went to Michaels for ribbon and had lunch at the Desert Book Store......they have the best soup and home made rolls.  Of course I picked up a book to breeze through while I ate, it was by Russell Ballard called "Drop by Drop".  It was about our Beehive symbol, how we model our lives from the busy little bees.  They all work together to make it happen and be successful.  In a bee's lifetime they will only contribute 1/12 of a teaspoon of honey to the hive, but if hundreds contribute that much, that is all they need.  In our life if we would contribute that much or more our world would be so much better.  Honey is also one of the most perfect foods you can eat and I do love honey.  Yes, it was a very enjoyable lunch......then home for a nap.